Matt-Man...What we talking about?

Hail and well met

Well I know I have been out of the loop. It has been real hard to run the routes I have been running, getting up at 6 to be to work by 7 and then work until 3 or 4 (on a good day that is). I get home and find I lack any energy to do much of anything but doing a few thing around here and then get to bed for the next day. I was hoping that I would be getting better at it by now but it does not seem to be working out that way.

I would normally apologize here for being gone but that is not going to happen. I am not sorry just...I guess the word is disappointed. It appears that I have been under some delusion about how life could (or as I believed, should) work. Now I can see that any idea of being my own anything was stupid. I am just a cog in someone else's machine and that is all I can ever hope to be. I don't have the skills or talents to break out and leave the slave pits behind. When I should have been learning such skills and garnering such talents I was "having fun". Stupid! I am so dumb.

I could list off a number of things that I am pissed at right now. The biggest problem is that the only one that really sticks is ME.

Yeah I thought I had come so far. Had reached such pinnacles and left these thoughts behind. Well it appears that all I was doing was lying to and disillusioning myself. I am a loser of the first magnitude and a failure to rival my Father.

Way to go Dad! You succeeded in making a better dumbass then you. GREAT!

Whatever.

There is no God.

The Force is a stupid dream

and super heroes are for children or lunatics.

Matt-Man is dead.....