Matt-Man.....I Don't Know

Hail and well met

Ok so I am going to put it all here.

My parents are on the verge of being evited. Dad has been unable to get work in a steady enough flow to provide for the costs of living. I don't know what they are doing. I don't know what to do.

That is the major reason for my moving out. About four and a half months ago my Dad sat me down and informed me that at that point we (I was still living there) were three months behind on rent (technicly called carring charges). I was somewhat pissed off that he had waited to inform me of this situation and made the decision to move out.

The fact of the matter is that if not for the generocity and patience of my good friend Bill I would have been up shit creek to move out. I don't make enough at the Post Office to support myself. It makes me feel so useless and such a loser.

Now they are even closer to being kicked out and still I don't have any way to help. Not even an idea or avenue for them to get help. The only thing that keeps me sane is my Aunt Rebecca. She has made it clear that if worse comes to worse she will help them out. That means they will be going to Texas. At least they have that.

My hopes of getting my games produced are starting to look like pipe dreams. My job is starting to look like a dead end. If anything happens I am screwed. I know Bill would be nice but I cannot expect him to tolerate having no money coming from me. If things fall apart any more then they are right now I have nowhere to go and nothing to fall back on.

I am my Fathers son.

I don't want to be depressed but I don't know how to avoid it. That damned roaring abyss of darkness has creeped back in my gut.

Oh and there is Terri. No nothing is wrong. Well nothing except that I cannot be there for her. I don't have a stable job to allow me to be with her. There is little I can do to support her. All I have is the love I feel for her. Whoever said that love is enough needs to live in the real world for a couple of years. Cause as far as I can see love don't pay the bills or keep them from kicking you out.

I just don't know what to think or do anymore.