Matt-Man: A minus 3 days

Hail and well met.

Let me get this out of the way now. I am in serious pain. Back pain that is. Not sure what brought it on but it has kept me down most of today.

But can stop Matt-Man? I don't think so.

No what can stop Matt-Man is his breaks going to shit. Yup with only three days until I roll out for Atlanta my breaks decide it is a good time to start making with the grinding and jerking. I had hoped that any car repairs would do me the favor of waiting for my to have work, but the best laid plans of mice and Matt-Man so often go astray. So tomorrow I am hoping to get my car in and have it looked at. If not tomorrow then Friday. Either way I am side-lined until it is fixed.

Which means that here I sit in my tabernacle of empirical failure. Oh what fun it is. No I am not going to start downing myself, it is just that this place holds nothing for me except memories of what I didn't do, haven't done and what never can be. It is a place with nothing but echoes of my past and wraiths of my present. Every moment I am forced to be here only cements in my heart an soul the fact that I have to get out or become something not worth talking about.

So for anyone that might have pondered my incessant trips to Lansing or other places, there is the reason.

I have tried to come to terms with this place, if only to survive situations like this one. In truth if I ever did come to terms with being here I would never be able to leave. I am a creature of comfort and as long as I am comfortable with something I don't change it. Rocking the boat and all that just is not my thing. So I endure my stay here only in the fact that I am unable to leave.

So with the pain I am feeling and the stress of having to yet again go to my father to bail me out of a situation I am frayed beyond words.

Bah it is not something I should be dumping on anyone but this is my soapbox.

Well onto something less depressing, in some ways. For the last several weeks I have been visiting a local thrift store. My major reason for going is to check out the selection of used books that they have. In total I have acquired close to 18 books of various topics. Now all I have to do is start reading them. Of course there are the books that others have leant me that still sit unfinished or un-started. I remember when I would devour books in hours instead of months. Many a happy moment can I remember reading a book outside at the cabin my Grandparents have.

Well I expect to have my test results by the time I get back. Well to be honest I am hoping they will be here, cause it will only have been 4 weeks of the 4 to 6 I was told at the test. Given that I was supposed to hear from them about said test in 30 days and it took six months I am just a little worried. No that is not true, I am FINE with it.

Of course FINE stands for...

Freaked out,
Insecure,
Neurotic and
Emotional

I will survive.

Not much more to say here. Pain killers are starting to kick in so I had better stop typing.

Just 3 more days and I am off on an adventure. I cannot wait.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!