Matt-Man Says Good-bye to Summer

Hail and well met

As I sit here in the loft I am faced with the reality that once again it is time for people to head off to collage. It is the heralding of the end of yet another summer. A year ago I was quite depressed over this and to be true it is a bummer to know that in less then two weeks many of the people that I love to hang out with will be miles away. There is something decidedly different this time though. I am glad to see them move on.

For quite a long time I was content with the idea of change for everyone else but not me. It was a stupid idea and I know that it has truly been the cause of a great amount of the pain in my life. I have to really honest when I say that I was a hypocrite over it. Out of my mouth would come the axiom that "Change is the only constant in the universe" but then I would resist the most simple of changes in my life. I never left home because I didn't want to rock the boat. Oh I know that I can come up with a ton of excuses for not leaving but so many others have had the some troubles and yet they did it and made it work. No the problem was not the troubles in the way but it was me.

Now this is where I should insert any one of a thousand rants about how hopeless or pathetic or whatever I am. Well if that is what you are expecting then I apologize because that is not happening. Why? Well the most basic thing I can say is that it is useless. I am who I am and I face the world the same way every day that I have always had. Somewhere out there is the niche where I belong and I intend to find it. Oh yes I am going to find the place where I belong and where I fit in and make things work. There is no doubt. It may take time but so what, what else am I going to do with it?

So instead of sitting here being depressed I am rejoicing in the fact that my friends are moving on and finding their place in the universe. I can and will visit them, and if possible I will be joined by the most amazing woman in the world. Yes I speak of the awesome and phenomenal Terri.

I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I have to say that she has been one of the greatest factors in my recent change of heart. Of course for all that she is if I didn't turn from my depression then I would still be a funk dog and be bringing everyone down. What is the fun in that? Oh it is one hell of an ego trip. believe me. Making ones self the center of the universe where all the bad things going on are pointed at or caused by you is quite the power trip. But once I realized that "Hey shit happens" and it happens to everyone it seemed far too pretentious for me to remain the center of the universe. So here I am just one more average joe (although some disagree with that assessment wink wink Terri) and I am just as unique and special as everyone else.

So what was this all about? Well I just wanted to chronicle the evening...Although I am upset about one thing. I missed a message from my lady. Sorry Terri. I was in the pool and I never bring my phone there because I know it will end up jumping to its death. Stupid suicidal phones. I am truly upset that I missed you call, but I will call you tomorrow as soon as I wake up. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes...ok by sometimes I mean all the time and bye hurt I mean tears my heart out but other then that I am fine ;)

I love all of you but Terri has my heart and soul...and other things but those will remain unmentioned for obvious reasons. :P I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!

Ok well that is all I really had to say so I am going to sign off.

May the Force be with all of you

Excelsior!!!