Matt-Man shares a secret

Hail and well met

Well as the title says I am about to share a secret that I have kept from people for a long time. I may have eluded to it at times but never came out and told people.

NO I am not gay. Okay get that out of your head.

The secret is that my teeth are rotting out of my head. Many of them are incomplete and as of right now three of them are broken right down to the gum. My front teeth have cracked at the ends where they meet so I have a gap. It is a terrible sight, or at least I think so whenever I look in the mirror and smile.

Now I could try and come up with some bullshit to explain this as not my fault but the truth is that I just didn't take care of them. The real secret is that I did it on purpose. I let them go to hell and wanted the pain that went with it. Oh yes it is as sick and twisted as it sounds and not I don't get off from the pain. It was a way to hurt myself that no one would see or know about. A way to damage me. Well that was what started it at least. Unfortunately by the time I was over that mentality the damage was done.

The real kicker is that now that I don't want to hurt myself I am still gonna have deal with it for the rest of my life. I may as some point have the money to fix it all, but in reality that could be years farther down the road. After looking into it I calculate that I am looking at well over 5000 dollars in dental work needed to fix my mouth and this is just what is blatantly wrong now, not what will probably happen in the future.

In my research I also investigated dentures. Yeah I know I am only 36, but with this much mess I see no reason to waste any time and money on band aids over a sucking chest wound. The damage done is irreversible. The teeth will never reform. The cracks and decay will not fill back in.

In the end one by one they will all fall apart and leave me with a mess. No I figure that when I have the cash I am just going to have them all ripped out and replace them. Again that is when I have the cash. So in the meantime I just sit here, mouth closed trying not to think about it or notice the swelling and throbbing.

I just feel so...No I won't say it.

I just felt like baring part of me that has been kept secret and silent for a long time. I wanted to open the door and force it into the light.

Hell I don't know why I am typing this. Just needed to let it go I guess. Ah what does it matter. So please don't comment. Just let it stand. It is what it is.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!