Matt-Man and Epiphanies and Apologizes

Hail and well met

Well as the title says this post is about two different things. The epiphanies will come later for now it is time to apologize for something.

Ben, Val, Mel, Todd, Tadd, Kelsey and whom ever else is in Fading Suns I apologize for not being there last night. I also apologize for not calling anyone concerning my absence. It has been an difficult time up here, wrestling with issues that pertain to the future and the present. In all honesty even if I had come home I don’t know that I would have played simply because I have a lot to think about.

Firstly the post office has not called or written me. It is obvious that I am not getting hired. I don’t understand why this is but the truth is simply that it is. So when I get back in town I will swallow my pride and my hopes and apply at the retail hives of scum and villainy again. It will be just awesome to be working in retail again for a large company and in doing so be nothing more then a drone. OH JOY! All this and minimum wage too?! How can I contain myself? YEAH if you take any of that seriously then you need help. It was the last place that I wanted to work but it seems the only damn place that I will find work. OK so maybe not the only place but really who wants to see me in a pasty? Besides I don’t do poles so well anymore. Ha Ha!

No really it is just that any others jobs that I find that I might be able to do are both far away from my home and here. In the end I just don’t know if it is worth it to chuck everything I have just for a few bucks. Yes I know I have bills to pay and damnit I intend to pay them, but why cannot I also have a real job that helps me build a future as well? Is that some unwritten law? Ah what does it matter. I will do what has to be done and that is that. Hey what is the worst that can happen? Oh yeah that whole losing myself in the damn job thing…but the bills get paid so that is what is important…RIGHT.

Enough of that let me get down to the epiphanies that I spoke of earlier.

Ok so this week I have been watching far more TV that I usually do. Wow now I know why I don’t watch it much anymore. It just shows me how far we have really fallen. Ok for starters let me address the most worthless shows to embarres the little screen.

REALITY TV SHOWS.

I have never liked them nor will I ever like them. They are a farce of Shakespearean proportions and only show off the worst that our society has to offer. The leading craptacular example of this is one of the first, Survivor. First off this show is a fraud. These people are in no real danger, cause right there is a fully operating film crew that sure as hell is not eating grubs…not that the contestants are eating grubs either. I am also sure that there is no lack of water or medical facilities on site either. So in the end what danger does our interped band of “Survivors” surviving? Oh right a set of physical challenges and getting voted off…PLEASE! What a load of crap-olla.

Well if I didn’t like the show now, I sure as hell think it has sunk to a new low. This season (which is already in the can in case you didn’t realize how TV works) will center around separating teams based on , get this….RACIAL LINES. Oh yeah what a brilliant idea this is. Oh I am sure that the producers loved the pitch which I can only see going something like this…”Well see we have all contestants there and for a social experiment we will have them take teams with people just like them, you know color and all that. It will be great cause we can increase viewer-ship among the racial motivated segment of society as well as the lagging Asian market not to mention the growing Mexican population. Isn’t it great? Oh what was that? No of course we shouldn’t worry about it stirring up racial tension in America. What are you thinking it is just TV. We don’t have that kind of power. We can’t start a war in our own streets over something as harmless as a TV show. Besides if it does cause riots just think of the publicity and viewer-ship from all the news coverage. What a bonus.”

Yes sir this is going to be so much fun. I just cannot wait for the first time at a water cooler someone make the mistake of saying anything derogatory about one of the winning personalities of a different racial background then the speaker. Even if the contestant in question is a jerk it won’t matter cause some over sensitized individual will jump up and scream “Racist”. The rest will be unemployment history.

This country is far too sensitive over that subject and the so-called leaders that speak “Tolerance” truly only seek to continue the trend. I mean let’s face it with out it would they be leaders anymore? More importantly wouldn’t they then have to turn to real problems and try and deal with them? Of course they would so no they are not going to get rid of their ace in the hole. Now when a real problem rears its ugly head they just jump up and scream “Racism” from the mountain tops and the masses jump with them and chant right along. Not to mention the contributions and fundraisers that go along with it. Enough with this rant and on to the next.

So the highly educated and certainly well paid astrological community got together this week and spent their collective brain power on a subject that will truly reshape the future of us all. They made a decision that has solved a problem that has plagued each and every one of us in our day to day lives.

The decided that Pluto is not a planet……….

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE IDIOTS! I mean are they that bored that they feel the need to pursue a serious discussion about whether a large hunk of rock that obits our sun and is not bound to another heavenly body is a planet or not? I thought that these people were working on figuring out how to transverse the vast distances between our world and others so we could colonize the galaxy. Nope they are sitting around having this discussion.

“Hey Bob what you doing?”
“Nothing Joe. Just watching the sky. You?”
“Same thing.”
“Yup this whole astronomy carrier is really full of excitement.”
“Yeah Joe I am sooo glad for all that time spent getting all these degrees so I could sit and watch the sky all day”
“OH and don’t forget that bull about how star gazers get the girls.”
“Yeah what a load of crap. I haven’t been laid since……DAMN I’VE NEVER BEEN LAID!!!!!”
“Dude I just had a though. We could figure out a way to travel through the galaxy and colonize every planet we find? Sounds cool right?”
“Wait I just had an idea. Why don’t we just sit here and do a whole lot of research to formulate an argument that Pluto is not really a planet? It would be fun.”
“Well I don’t know?”
“Oh come on Joe just think of all fun when we succeed and they have to change all the text book around the WORLD! I mean it isn’t like we won’t be making up most of the reasons cause any first grader knows that Pluto is a planet, so we will be pulling one over on the whole world. Oh and here is the kicker. In about 10 years of so…We turn around and make them change it back! Besides we will have to make like lecture tours and you know what that means…Young coed astronomy students.”
“OH God Bob that would be far more fun then anything really helpful to everyday life. And I can’t wait to start the lecture tour… come to me ladies. Let’s do it!”

Yes there it is. Just a prank set up by some over bored and under sexed astronomers. Please for the love of god will you ladies do the world a favor and shag an astronomer today so we can get the whole colonization of the galaxy thing underway? PLEASE!

So this is what our leaders in the field of Astronomy do with their time. I am so glad that we depend on them to let us know what is out there. I wouldn’t want to take their hours of looking at the sky as a sign of lax intelligence or sloth. But with breakthroughs like this how could I think that? God help us.

Ok well I am done for now. I will be home either Sunday or Monday of next week. The following weekend I am going to the Ren fair again so if anyone wants to join just grab your cash and come along…well let me know ahead of time as well.

I will see everyone or talk to everyone when I get back.

Again I am sorry for missing Fading Suns and for not calling. Please forgive me. PPPPLLLLEEEASEE!!!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!