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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Matt-Man "There's trouble to the North"

Hail and well met

Well here I sit in the Casa De Terri and I don't know what I am going to post about.

I love her.
She loves me.
We get eachother on so many levels.
I know that things are good and am not going to screw that up.......


But this being unemployeed situation is wearing on my nerves. I don't want to lose her because I in the end I don't live up to the things I know I can do. If that even makes any sense.

I am also just worried that I lack the real foundation to make a relationship work. I mean look at my paterning (My family life for those that don't know what I was saying). My parents barely tolerate each other. Fights over the most ignorant of things are a daily affair. Neither one of them really lives anymore, they just muddle through waiting on the end of their life. I don't want to be that...but I already am.

Yeah that is what I realized before I started posting. I am just like them. I don't do anything or involve myself with anything larger then myself. I keep everything at arms length and never commit myself to any goals. I have to change...and that is going to hurt.

Oh yes change is going to hurt, I don't fool myself on that fact. It is just a matter of choosing when I do it. Now or later. Sooner or farther away. Next week or next month, or next year.

There is no guide books on this subject. Not many have experiance to give advice. In the end all the advice and comments will come to naught cause it is my choice and I am the only one that can live it.

Jeez I hate it when it comes back to me.

Oh well all I have time to type right now.

I will be home tuesday durring the day depending on the arrival time for the train.

Later all.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Matt-Man on the sly

Hail and well met

Not going to post much...which means of course that this will be a 10 pager. No not really cause there is not much to post (or too much)

I am doing well and the house I am watching is also ok. We have had a few tantrums but I was able to get it in line.

I have been watching Smallville...actually a good show when you see it all in a row. Yet again another show that I will have to keep up with, will it never end.

Having the usual bouts of doubts and run ins with Mr. Depression but that is to be expected.

Terri is coming down on the 5th of august for the day. That is a Saturday and I am leaving things open as to what we are doing. I am hoping to finish up her introductions with everyone.

Oh yeah and still don't know what is up with my computer, but then again I haven't really asked about it. Kind of don't want to hear the news if it is as bad as I feel it could be. Not really in the mood to have yet one more avenue of my freedom stripped from me and another barrier between me and the world put up. Oh well such is the nature of life. If it doesn't kill you it gives you some real neat scars to talk about and twitches can be quite entertaining.

Hope all is going well...not that anyone would tell me if it wasn't...but I still hope it is.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Matt-Man VS Technology

Hail and well met

Well it was bound to happen again. My computer is on the fritz and this time I have a real bad feeling that it is bad. I will have to get it verified by Ben, but that will have to wait for right now.

I am going to be up at Terri's for a few days keeping an eye on her dog Jackson. He is sick and she is worried that if something happens she won't be there to help him out. So I am stepping up to help relieve this stress. I will be able to get calls on my phone but not answer them as I only have like 3 minutes left before it shuts down. So feel free to call and if I can I will respond via other means.

Anyway I have to go and get ready and the like. Hope everyone is doing ok. I will see you all friday for star wars.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Matt-Man did not order waffles, Matt-Man ordered STEAK!!!!

Hail and well met

Well let me just get this off the burner fast and quick. I am not working at the Post Office. I have declined the position that was given to me. Why? You ask.

Well first and foremost it was not the position that I applied for in the first place. Second it was a hell position in which I would have been working between 2 and 14 hours a night at the discretion of my supervisor and that could change on a daily basis. Thirdly it is completely a temp position and has not one single opportunity for career advancement. Lastly by declining the position I maintain my status in the Post Office and if something else comes up my action has no bearing on my getting that job.

All in all I would be gaining not one damn thing other then a WHOLE lot of stress and with the gas usage I would have to work at least 25 or so hours to keep the van running. Not worth the effort.

I have some other opportunities and some of them do involve the Post Office(just not the factory). I will be pursuing these over the next few days. Yes I am disappointed but I sure as hell am not giving up or getting depressed. I started to but then the thought of my Lady came to me and BAM! All that dark depression just went away.

Everything happens for a reason and this is no exception. I will find work and it will be gainful and not cause me the kind of stress that I was under at GO in the final days.

The only real bad thing is that this pretty much kills any chance of my going to GenCon. Oh well it was a good run of not missing one but it had to end some time. I will miss it though. tear falls from eye

But there is always next year!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Matt-Man Gets the Post

Hail and well met

IT FINALLY CAME!!!! Friday at around 5 or 6 I get a call telling me that a priority letter had arrived. With my permission it was opened and a single sheet of paper came out telling me that I am employed with the USPS! Woooooot!

I am to show up at 8:00 sharp on Monday at the Bedford Park facility for my three day orientation. I should find out then what is up and where I am to be posted. I am really hoping for the Frankfort Post Office, cause first off I would be able to get there far quicker then Bedford Park, and I would be able to pick up some days at the Mattson Post Office which means more money!

Any way I am stoked about this and I cannot wait to get back in the swing of things. Just sitting around has been just a bit nerve racking.

Ok well not much else to say except that everyone should remember that next weekend is the Ren Fair! We need to be at Terri's house around 9 in the morning that Sunday so that means leaving from here around no later then 7 and more like 6:30 so we have plenty of time to get there. Also remember that there is a BBQ after. It should be a blast.

Ok well that is all the time I have for today, I will speak to everyone as I see them.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Matt-Man Takes the Train

Hail and well met

Well it is time for a real quick update.

I still have not heard from the Post Office. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

I am getting ready to head out and take the train to meet Terri at the station near her work for a couple of days with my lady. I am going to be cleaning her house a little in preperation for next weekends festivities. Woot for the Ren fair and the BBQ after.

Other then that I am doing well and things are going ok. Hope to see everyone on Saturday while Terri and myself are in town.

Ok well that is it. Wow a quick one that is really quick.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Meanwhile in the Matt-Cave

Hail and well met

I haven't posted lately simply due to not a lot going on...well except being drivin insane waiting for the damn letter from the Post Office telling me when to show up for orientation. Having to endure their beurocratic bullshit whilst I sit here desperatly in need of "PAYCHECK"! I am so glad that they have all the time in the world, just like God. But as my Lover would say "everything happens for a reason" and she is right. I will just endure this aggrivation and know that on the other side of the screen God has everything well in hand. Human nature is all about instant gratification so I just need to step out of my animal side and embrace the spiritual side again.

Ok well in other news I am still plugging away on my drawing, skills are still rusty but I am hammering them out. I do need to pick up some referance materials soon...back to needing that damn paycheck again...but intill then I am just covering the basics. I have been reading as well. I am just about done with "Beast" by the author of "Jaws". It is about a giant squid that attakcs Bermuda. Not an epic story but a good read. Picked up part of a series the other day I am missing the first two books and I think a book in the middle...but I am not sure and as I forgot to do the internet search before starting this post I don't have that information in front of me. Yes I know that I could pause and run the search in a new tab (I run firefox, AMAZING program, you all should use it) but I am not in the mood to run downstairs and find the book and then bring it back up here just to give you all the details on what I don't have. I do remember the title of the first book. "The Dragon and the George" a story about a contempory man transported into a midevil world where his only saving grace is the power to transform in to a dragon at will. There are either 5 or 6 books in the series as far as I know. I plan on tracking them down sooner or later.

OH yeah everyone remember that we are going to the Ren Fair on Sunday the 16th of July. We need to be up there at Terri's by 9:00 in the morning. The money is due on the day of the Fair and it is 15 dollars per person. Afterword we are heading back to her place for a BBQ and party. Sleeping space is available for those that need to "rest up after a LONG DAY"...yeah ok if you decide to drink then you won't be driving so there will be places to bunk. It should be an awesome time and I look forward to it.

I know that there was something else I wanted to post but right now my brain is feeling like that egg in those commercials, and I ain't on drugs. I hate hot weather, with a passion.

Oh well if it comes to me then I will just have to drop a new post.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Matt-Mobile gets an Overhaul

Hail and well met

Yup got the van back today after running it out to my "guy" this morning and it is great. That noise in the rear is gone (wish the same could be said for my rear end). One of the serpentine belts needed to be replaced and he did an oil change. It drives better, handles better and sounds like nothing at all. I am going to see if my mileage goes up at all, hope so given the damn price of gas.

Well I am back from the greatest weekend ever. Spent more time with a certain someone that is the most amazing and phenomenal person in the universe (now some of you will say that I am being fickle since I have use these words for other people, but since I am using both for one it sets her apart from those who only have had one word used in conjunction with their name). I met her friends at their baby's dedication, they all liked me. I met her parents at the wedding of her nephew in law, they liked me. All in all everyone one that has met me has like me. I am so relieved! You probably have had that feeling of trepidation when meeting someone's Parents, but for most of you that was when you were in your teens. I had to go and wait for me to be in my 30's for the first time...GAH the nerves. Oh well I stressed out for nothing, but I figure it is a normal response and not much I could have done to stop it.

Her parents are awesome. Her father is a character. He worked for the FDA for 34 years and he was impressed with my efforts to become employed with the Post Office. He had quite a number of stories he could have told but time would not allow. Her mother is sort of quite but not in a creepy or snooty kind of way. She reminds me of me in some ways. I had a great time and I look forward to seeing them again soon.

Oh and I danced for one of the first times in my life. I mean really danced with a partner and everything. I did the Electric slide and only caused a few pile ups and then shook my booty to "Staying Alive".

Well this week will be interesting with the release of the new Superman movie and the return of Star Wars on Friday. I hope that every one is having a good time. Just a few shout outs to make.

Hey Mike I am sorry to have missed getting together with you when Terri was down. She is heading this way on the 8th so that gives us some time to plan better. Call or write or just throw a rock at my window. I will do the same in the next few days.

Mikey I really want to finish that damn game! Not to mention starting the new one. We have to work out a time to get together. You know my email and I will try and call you. Hope school and work are going well. How is buddy?

James got the watch. Thanks.

Ok that is all that I have for right now. Some things are brewing but not quite right just yet.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Matt-Man VS the Long Wait

Hail and well met

Well it is official that I am now waiting for a letter telling me when I can show up for orientation. Which I suspect means that I have the job but just "not right now". The people there mentioned that it was probably going to be around July the 10th...Great at this rate I will have to pass on Gencon. OH HELL NO!!!!!!

Nope that is the one thing that I will not pass up. I go there not only for the fun butit is a possibility to keep my finger on the pulse of the industry. I do know people and this is the one chance I have to catch up. No sir'ee I am not giving up Gencon.

Oh the second thing is that according to the people in personal they only need people for "Third Tour". Which is 11:30 pm til 7:30 am or more commonly known as "Third shift" or midnights. It was kind of funny cause they asked me if I that was a problem. My responce was simple..."Do I get paid if I work those hours? Cause unless I don't it is fine, the bills don't care when I work they just want the money." It made the ladies laugh. Anyway I guess that I am working there at the Bedford Park facility cause that is the way they made it sound. That is a bit of a puzzlement as I have only taken the test for either Indiana or Frankfort and neither had anything to do with Bedford Park. It is important to know that the Bedford Park Facility is the distribution and sorting center for the area. Everyones mail is sent their and sorted down to smaller sections and then shipped off to the local offices for individual delivery. The facility is huge and it uses huge machines that sort the mail. It should be interesting if that is what I am doing. Either way it is a paycheck and it gets me in the door. From their I can do whatever comes to mind.

I have been laxs on my drawing as of late, but that will change. I have also been out of the painting habit which is starting to wear on my nerves. Of course there is the workout thing that has been difficult as of late. I have to knuckle under and get this stuff done and organized. I can do it I just have to work at it.

Ok another reminder that Terri can get tickets for the Ren Fair for July 16th, a Sunday. I am going as is she and we are asking anyone that wants to come to let me know so I can get the money to her and so on. It should be an awesome time for one and all. Please come if possible. There will be a BBQ following so fun will be had by all, plus you all get to spend some more time with the worlds most amazing person.

Ok well I am done for now. I will post more when possible...extra curicular activities take so much time :)

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Matt-Man get Giddy

Hail and well met

Well I must say that I should be asleep right now, but that ain't happening. Now six months ago I would have been sweating the interview that I am having tomorrow at the Post Office. You know the usual rant from me (which I will not go into if you want to know just go back and read some of my earlier stuff).

No the reason for my insomnia is the fact that in less then 12 hours, if the interview is done, I will be seeing Terri and it will begin a long weekend with her up at her place. Now interwoven with our time together is a christening, a band gig at a bar and a wedding reception (where I get to meet her parents...What me worry). I will be heading home on Monday morning with her as she heads off to work.


All in all this weekend is going to be amazing!

OH I almost forgot. On July the 16th, a Sunday, Terri, myself and some of her friends are going to the Bristol Renaissance Fair. She is able to get cheap tickets thru the Jaycees. There was also mention of a BBQ afterward at her house, but that is still up in the air. She and I would love for any and all of you to come along. Costumes are optional but I am going in Kilt and she in her "Beer Wench" costume. It should be a HI-LAR-IOUS occasion. Anyone interested needs to let me know ASAP. The tickets are 15 dollars and I can probably float one or two people. She needs to know by July 1st so get back to me. I intend to keep bothering people so one way or another you will hear about it.

Ok well I now I am hungry as my stomach is growling loudly. I will see all soon and I will post the results of my interview tomorrow night from Terri's computer.

I hope that all is going well for everyone, and if not then why haven't I heard about it?

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Matt-Man IS...

Hail and well met!

…in love.
Oh yes it is true. I am in love. I have found the person that makes me feel complete and whole. Every moment with her is a moment of perfect beauty. Her eyes are spectacular; her smile is the sun on a cloudy day. Her kiss is the warm wind on the grassy field where I lay. She is sexy and luxuriant in a way that I have never known or dreamt of. Being with her is beyond anything I ever thought was possible. I know I am in love and I embrace it without question.

The craziest thing is that she loves me! Yeah I know most of you are like “Duh Matt” but I had never believed that anyone could feel that way about me. I am still in shock over it. Not wanting to be narcissistic about it I don’t dwell on it, but the fact still remains that she finds me handsome and sexy. It makes me giddy inside.

I LOVE YOU TERRI!!!!!!!!!!!!

…without doubt.
This is another milestone for this one I cannot remember a time when I was so sure of myself. My drawing is continuing to progress. The Post Office is but an interview away. Soon my troubles will be over where my bills are concerned. Heck I don’t even worry about making my games reality anymore. I know it will happen. The only thing left is spending the time needed to do it all. And time is on my side.

I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me over the past years. Without it I would not be here to enjoy the bright future and present that I now stand in and face. I only hope that I have and can return the favor in the years to come. You have all had a profound affect on my life. I thank God for the opportunity to know all of you and become friends with you. I love you guys and there is not much that I wouldn’t do for you all.

…happy!
…content!
…complete!

And for anyone not getting the reference to “IS”. Well it has to do with a little bottle cap from a Mike’s Hard Lemonade from a couple of New Years Eve’s ago. Thanks Sara for wanting them cause without them I would not know what “IS” is all about.

Well that about concludes my post for now. Oh that job for my friends wife…well let us just say that what I thought would be only a day or two is not possibly gonna be 3 or more. Well after talking to my Dad we are going ahead with the project and he is going to make up the difference if we go over the three days. I mean I have to do the Post Office interview and after that I am going to go and see Terri for the weekend.
Oh the strangeness has continued. My father and I were talking this morning. I mentioned that I wanted to get my income tax check since I need to get the van fixed before I start really working at the post office. I don’t see how it could possibly cost more then 800 bucks…Ok so it could but right now I don’t have the luxury of caring. The 800 from my check should be enough to get the job done and the rest paid in installments. Well anyway the check has not shown up. So Dad drops the idea that he will cover it right now and when I get the check I either just hand it over to him completely or I get the difference back. I was happy and a little shocked. I mean I owe him a TON of money, and although I have made the joke about his ROI (return on investment) being in the crapper and the whole Risk VS Reward thing I do plan on paying him back every damned cent. So to have him be willing to drop even one more dollar on me is a surprise.

So tomorrow I am taking my van over to my mechanics and dropping it off with the express understanding that it has to be done by 4o’clock on Wednesday or no go. But knowing those guys they will be able to pull it off. So then I will be driving one of my Dad’s vans for the time in-between. I don’t plan on missing Vampire tomorrow but it could be difficult depending on if he needs the van back at any time for his job. We will see what happens.

Any way I am getting paid for the job and so all is good. I will see all this week on Wednesday since I am gone Thursday through Monday with the possibility that I start working Monday.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Matt-Man and the Appointment with Destiny

Hail and well met

Well things sure sped up. This morning I received a call from the Post Office. Next week Thursday I am scheduled to have a meeting at the Bedford Park Office. I have to have all my paper work filled out and ready to go. I have been told that I am looking at an interview. Now it could be a one-on-one or a group. A group is faster and means that I am at a higher percentage for entry. The one-on-one is my personal fav cause it allows me to let my personality shine and I can schmooze. Now for those that do not know I have the ability to be very schmoozie when I choose, but it is not my best trait nor do I like it. It is just not my style.

Anyway either way I am believing in that by this time next week I will be employed with the US Postal Service. WOOT JOBS RULE!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize to all those that are looking for or are stuck in shitty jobs for doing the blog version of the victory dance. Feel free to leave me a comment saying "FUCK YOU". I wouldn't complain one bit. But please don't think that the Post Office is my dream job or that it is going to be a piece of cake. It will totally rearrange my schedule. My average wake up time will be at least an hour before I have to work since I will be out of the Frankfort office. That means early nights and could infringe on my gaming time. I will do my best to maintain but the chance of any new campaigns is pretty much out.

Plus this will allow me to have money to spend on trips to see my number one lady. And believe me I plan on visiting her often... >;) I am so naughty!!!!!

Ok that is only a small part of this strangeness. I get a call from an old friend who is the wife of an other old friend. She needs some help with her Mom's trailer. After talking to my Dad and getting some advice it looks like I will be doing some slight work early next week for them.

My internet service apparently misplaced one of my payments that they said they didn't receive cause I don't owe them anything until next month. AMAZING!!!!

All I need now is to wake up having lost another 75 pounds and have all my skin shrink. Or an old relative could decide to give me a shit load of money. Maybe I could discover that I am old royalty and there is a country with my name on it. I don't care but it seems that things are finally going my way. All since I met Terri..?

Yes finding the other half of your soul is a interesting thing. It makes so many thing clear and in focus. Things that meant nothing before now are precious and things that you could not live without are left behind. No no I don't mean friends! In fact she is strongly against me just picking up and moving out there cause it would take me away from all of you and my roots here.

I argue that I may need to just pick up and move, but she has her points and I have already decided to pick my battles (especially when she is right on this one). Just kidding Terri:) Since I know you read this. I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!

Ok so that is where things are right now. I am getting ready to go work out in Lansing and then Star Wars at the loft. It should be amazing...Although we will be minus one member...DAMN CAMPING!!! I shouldn't complain cause I have to cancel next week...due...to...um...WEEDLE!!!

So yeah that is the state of things. Matt-Man is feeling real good. He is pushing forward on several fronts. He is now part of a team that is unbeatable. (I mean you Terri. I LOVE YOU!)

All in all not one bad thing to report. And this trend seems to be expanding. Believe me I plan on sharing the positive energy while I have it.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Matt-Man takes a Whiz

Hail and well met

Have to make this one a real short one.

That call from the Bedford Park Post Office was not about working their but for me to come in and fill out paper work and take a drug test. They called again yesterday and today I went up. Have a boat load of papers to fill out and have to provide an extensive work history (God why didn't I pay attention to dates).

The real fun was going to a near by clinic and waiting to go pee. Yup took a drug test today. It was a surprize cause I don't use drugs. Yeah like I didn't know that. Oh well now they do and things will progress from here. I am pretty sure that this is about the test I took for the Frankfort Post Office, cause all the tax info is for Illinois and not Indiana. Which is a load off my mind cause I didn't want to pay double taxes next year.

When I got the call originally I thought ok so the next step. Then I talked to my buddy Jim and he informed me that if I am taking the drug test then it is pretty much a done deal. So now I am just slightly nervous. I don't know why but it doesn't matter. As Terri my beautiful lady said it "things are falling into place". How right she is. I LOVE YOU TERRI!!!!!!!

Ok so again let me remind all that Terri is coming down saturday. I plan on having her meet as many people as I can while also spending some quality time with her. Mike I got your message and we can work out a time and place. Everyone else I will try and catch at GO Games. Chris I plan on visiting you at work, I will try and call you sometime this week to hammer out when would be good. I miss seeing you buddy.

Yup that about covers it right now. I have to get cracking on this paper work. I will talk to all as time permits.

May the Force be with you all

Excelsior!!!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Matt-Man Vs Uncertainty

Hail and well met

Well here I sit. I have to say that all in all my life is going well. I am with the most wonderful woman that the creator in his/her wisdom has put on this world. My health is better then usual (although I am fighting something off right now). My car is paid for and nothing is drastically wrong with it. In fact the only real thorn in my side right now is my employment status.

That is just the tip of that ice berg. I know that I have to work so I can get paid, but I don't want to be a drone in someone elses hive. I have my own big ideas and I know that they will produce income. It is just a matter of time and diligence. So in the mean time while those projects are fermenting I have to find work.

I know that I can do what I dream of. I know that it is possible to change reality. I know the three rules of Matt-Man. So why do I find myself hesitating? Why do I falter when I am about to leap from the ledge?

I can only come up with two possible answers. One is that I never really believed in all the crap that I have been spouting all these years. The second is that even with all my belief there is still fear in the doing of it. I have to be honest, I don't like pain, rejection and failing. In fact I have spent most of my life avoiding these things and the risks that can bring them.

Now when I am ready to leap to my heights I find that I am afraid and hesitant. Both are things that will ensure failure, so why do I do them? Bah it does not matter! Thinking about it only makes it worse. I have to act and act in a way that is productive.

Yeah that is it. I can, I will, I am! That's the spirit.

So that trip to the country club was just this side of a bust. Put in an application but there is no guarantee that I will get a call back. Oh well their loss. But it would have been nice to have work.

Got a laugh though. While I was out there my Mom calls and informs me that the Bedford Park Post Office called. The wanted to know if I coudl come out and fill out paper work for them to work there. First of all it was 3:20 and they wanted me there by 3:30. Now even if I was home there is no way to make it from my home to Bedford Park in 10 minutes. Second thing is that I have heard of Bedford Park and the words "shooting", "gang violence" or "violence" seem to accompany it. Now I know I cannot be picky but ain't no way I am putting my health and life on the line for this PART TIME job.

The good news is that it means that my scores are floating around so sooner or later someone will notice me and it won't be a war zone.

Ok well I have exhausted my available words. I am getting ready to go see Terri play soft ball. I really love her and not being able to see her sucks! Nicky find out how far dude is from Lake Villa cause I know what it feels like so I am willing to work something out.

Oh and for anyone that I haven't told. Terri is coming down on the 17th for the day. I want her to meet everyone and see everything, so I have some planning to do. Most of all I just want to spend the day with her hanging around. Should be a good day for all.

OH that really brings up a quandry. Val has reminded me that we were supposed to go camping at Lothlorien over the weekend of the 24th. Of course that is a weekend that Terri and I can get together to do stuff. Now I have to choose. Sorry Val but my Lady wins out. I want to go camping real bad but not at the expense of see her.

Man I can just type like a fool when I let go. Ah well it is all stuff in my head anyway so better out then in I always say.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Matt-Man in a Nutshell

Hey I'm in a nutshell! Let me out of here I can't breathe! Help!

Oh hail and well met

Well this one needs to be quick and dirty (I like it dirty;)

Tonight was Vampire. I loved it. Didn't feel like I played the character well but I can work on that. The story is interesting so I know playing will get easier.

Tadd stopped by and that was amazing. He finally dumped the psycho chick he was living with. Not going into details but trust me, I am calling her a psycho chick which is something I don't usually do. Anyway he wanted to hang out and basically try and forget her cause he was in love with her. I can understand that problem cause I know that if I lost my Lady I would have to work at living.

Which brings me to a little thing I have to say. Some will say it is not a big deal, but I don't like breaking a promise and when I do I make everyone know about it.

I am so sorry for forgetting to call you Terri. I truly am sorry. I feel like shit right now. I should have borrowed someone's phone for even a few minutes. I am sorry.

Tomorrow Miles, Neal, Nicky and myself are heading to the Merriville Country Club for a meeting with Miles's cousin and the General Manager of the Club. If all goes well we will all walk out as employees of the Club. No I am not giving up on the Post Office but I after 9 weeks I cannot afford to wait for a paycheck. GODDAMNIT! People I have bills to pay a car to fix and the worlds hottest lady to see (no she is not expensive but getting to her is and I plan on seeing a lot of her).

If the Post Office decides to get off its bureaucratic bloated ass and get me my test scores I will consider working for them. Until then they can suck on stamps.

Ok well I am off to bed so that I can get up early and call my Lady and beg for her forgiveness.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Matt-Man on the move

Hail and well met

I have been riding a whirlwind as of late so if I have not spoken to you don't let it get to you. As I have said in the last post I have found the other half of my soul and it has bowled me over.

Speaking of that I am getting ready to leave right now to go see my Lady play some softball. I bet she looks sexy in her uniform! Sorry to share that but what can I say I am spellbound by her beauty.

I have been doing some sketching and drawing over the last several days. My skills have begun to reform after many years of ill use. I am hopeful that if this continues I may be able to fill the gap in our little group as far as someone to do the web comic. I haven't started using any computer programs to make my are yet that is the next step.

All in all I am happier then I have ever been. Thanks to everyone for your congradulations and support. I wouldn't have made it here without all of you.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Matt-Man Meets His Match

Hail and very well met

WOW! (and I don't mean world of warcraft)

I just don't have the words right now so I will keep it short and sweet.

I met someone this weekend. She walked into my life at a friends party and and walked out with my heart and soul.

I can say with no hesitation I am in love with her. And I know she feels the same.

Eyes are the window to the soul, and I saw all I needed to.

Yeah I have several phone calls to make.

Just when you are ready to lose all hope and your faith is slipping from your grasp in walks the answer to everything. It may have taken 36 years but I can say it was worth it.

WOW!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Matt-Man and tjhe Big Empty

Hail and well met

Ok I spent an hour typing here in the loft only to have it eat my damn post so here it is quick and dirty.

Went to the Double Door last night to see "Statements Lost". Drove with Andrea and Amanda. Had an awesome time. Thanks Andrea and Amanda for a great trip and time. Hope to do it again soon.

Statements Lost rocked and I love their music. Props for the TMNT TV vintage theme cover. I love it.

Right now I feel like shit inside. I am alone and it is slowly killing me. I just want to end this pain sometimes and I don't mean that in a constructive way either. I cannot block, ignore or deal with it anymore. OH and as far as quitting smoking...FUCK THAT! When I get this solved maybe but until then I am a goddamn chimney. Sorry for all those that I am letting down but it is either that or other shit.

Ok that is it. I am done and this damn post had not dissapear.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Matt-Man and The Divinci Code

Hail and well met

Well it is time that I threw my hat into the ring of red faced, raving lunatics who seem Hell-bent on railing against this movie and book. I won’t so much as speak about the movie (which I saw) or the book (which I haven’t read), as I will comment on the social hysteria that is prevailing. If you feel that what I am about to say is offensive then all I can say is simply…LOOK AT SOMETHING ELSE. No one is making you read this and as such the only person you can or should be upset at for being offended is you for reading on when you know it will piss you off. I am not here to appease you or anyone else, what I say is mine and I have a GOD given right to say it. So in the end if you don’t like what I say TALK TO GOD cause he is in charge.

Ok here is your final warning I will begin my rant in 12 lines so last chance to look away and read something else…Hell play FreeCell it is an excellent mental exercise as everyone is supposed to be solvable and is free on almost every windows computer.

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So here is my take on the whole thing. In truth what is everyone so worried about? A man who has some interesting ideas decides to put them into a book Now he takes some names and ideas from history and ties them together to make his STORY. So people are now all upset cause history is distorted. Um have we all LOST OUR FREAKING MINDS HERE! This is a work of FICTION (it is where you will find this book in every library and book store in the world). I don’t think that anywhere in the books description will you find it saying it is factual or based on true events. Yet we are running around as if this is exactly what he has claimed. Again and again I read or hear about how he has twisted facts…again what part of FICTION do we seem to not understand. So if we are so pissed off at the misrepresentation of history in this matter then I wonder where all the hysterics were when a little film hit the screens a year or so ago. Did anyone see “National Treasure”? Yeah that one played havoc with history. Yet I don’t remember anyone saying one word about it. So we can put the cop out of it is not historically correct to rest and realize that the real problem is the lack of faith that people have.

Yes this is the real problem. You are screaming bloody murder because your faith is so shallow that a work of fiction that doesn’t even attempt to proclaim it self as “gospel” (pun intended) can make it crack. It just proves to me that you have no real understanding of God and can only relate to him when someone else tells you what he says and what you should do in his name. Thus it seems to me that the real problem is not with any part of this books historical or theological message but one little concept at the end, which I have to read the book and see if it is there as well (but given the opinion of those that have read it I would figure it is there). It comes at the end when Langdon says something to the effect of “All that matters is what you believe”.

Ah ha here is the heresy that has them in an uproar. How dare they even purport the idea? That an individual’s beliefs are more important than the collective authority of the established church. If the church says it you must obey cause it is the will of god cause we say so. (And I am not just speaking of the Catholics either but all churches) The church hierarchy is closer to god they you so you only believe what we say, you have no right to believe anything else. What a load of unmitigated BULLSHIT. If they weren’t so afraid of losing control, power and money they would see that it really doesn’t matter what this movie/book says.

If that were not the case then would you explain how the “Left Behind” series has avoided your scrutiny? Many churches believe that the “Rapture” theory is heresy. Yet this series has three movies on video and not one word is spoken against it. Why? Because nowhere in it does it purport that the individual can be closer to God then the Church. It does not give the importance to what the individual believes or suggests that we all examine what we believe and test it for ourselves. No this is the reason for the hype people. Don’t let yourself be fooled.

I mean in truth if you find it offensive then okay I have no problem with that. If I find something offensive towards my personal beliefs I do something about it…I DON’T SUPPORT THE PERSON OR ITEM. I don’t go running around carrying signs or holding sit ins at movie theaters. Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t. Feel free to express your dislike for the film. I am sure that the movie company also feels this way, since all you end up doing is glorifying the thing in question. It is proven fact that the more you all protest something the more popular it becomes. No movie, book or personality has every really suffered from such activity. In fact many individuals and franchises have seen record profits because of it.

Andrew Dice Clay was disliked and protested against and it made his career. Not that he wasn’t funny but his was a singular wit that should have passed quickly but held on for more then a year and earned him a movie deal. Would he have been so successful if everyone had just ignored him? No he wouldn’t, he would have had his fifteen minutes of fame and then would have been gone. By going crazy over his obviously offensive humor you only helped fuel his image and made everyone want to see what could drive people to do such things.

Those that protested him only succeeded in promoting him. Bad press is still press and sometimes it is more press then something deserves. Which begs the question; whom are you really supporting? Where is your power going? What is your true faith in?

I mean if your faith can be shaken by a stupid movie, then how strong is it really? Let’s face it people there is no way to be sure that we have a true account of what happened with Jesus’ walk on this earth. The book has been around for hundreds of years. It has been translated and redefined and updated so many times that you cannot tell me that it still is in its original form. Can you say for certain that you know that every word is exactly what was written in the original texts? For that matter can you provide proof that who is said wrote it actually wrote it? If we are to be totally honest, since none of us was there, the answer must be no.

But what does that matter? Is your god so weak that only a written book can reach people? I hope not. My God is a God of miraculous things. He created everything in the universe and Beverly Hills. (Laugh cause it was funny cause some of those boob jobs are suspect) He made every atom, particle and ray that bounces around this place. Which means that the very substance that we are made of came from him. He is in us as any creator is within his creations. And a movie can shake your faith in him?

People, God is not looking for zealots. He has had enough of those proclaiming his will in their slaughter and barbarism to make him sick. If you want to dislike the book then have the guts to simply take responsibility for it and say, “I don’t like the book.” Leave it at that. Let everyone make up his or her own mind. If this work of FICTION can shake the faith of someone then in truth they never had any real faith in their beliefs in the first place.

God does not want parrots and sheep. He already created those on his own. He wants those that will have a relationship with him. It is the driving force behind my belief in the Force (God’s presence in all of us or the Holy Spirit) and my reason for walking the path of a Jedi (have to post on that soon). The Force does not control you; it guides you. The Force does not lead you; you walk with the Force. This is what God seems to keep looking for. All he finds are those that don’t want to be responsible for their lives and use him as the reason for everything they do. God doesn’t need a 4.5 million dollar building, people do. God doesn’t need a TV show that costs 100’s of thousands of dollars an episode, egomaniacs do. In fact God doesn’t want money at all, so why do we keep acting like he does?

Matthew 22

19”Shew me the tribute money.” And they brought unto him a penny.

20And he saith unto them, “Whose is this image and superscription? “

21They say unto him, “Caesar's”. Then saith he unto them, “Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.”

It would seem to me that God doesn’t need or want mans money. His desires are of the spirit and soul. I don’t want to digress but we should seek these first and foremost in our lives and let the cares of money pass us by. In that matter let the foolishness of the world pass us by. If you truly know God then you know that this world is of little importance and the goings on even less.

Yes Jesus was the Son of God. But he was also a mortal man. He was sent to walk as we do and as such earn our freedom from the oppression of the devil. He had to face every temptation that man has to face. So to say that he avoided the matter of sex and female companionship seems a little foolish. It is one of the biggest hurtles that a man has to face so it seems only natural that Jesus would have had to face it. And for anyone to think that being with a woman or having a wife and child makes him less divine then they don’t think that much of God’s creation. Since it was God that gave Woman to Man as a helpmate. So if being with a Woman is “dirty” then God is a “dirty” God.

It doesn’t lessen his divinity. He still died on the cross and rose again transforming his dead body into a usable one. This is the Son of God that I believe in. Not the dying victim on the cross but the risen King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Believe what you will and do what you will. Just don’t do it cause someone else says it; do because you truly believe it. That is what faith is all about.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Matt-Man on Stuff

Hail and well met

Well it has become apparent that something is up. Certain people are having trouble in various forms. Many others are concerned for them in different ways, including me and feel helpless because there is nothing we can do.

It sucks but that is what being a friend means sometimes. Just being there and standing by while a friend smashes their head against a brick wall is not easy, but if they are going to do it they are going to do it. All we can do is be their friend when they are laying on the ground in a dazed state and help them up (after we have adorned them with a mustache and glasses with a permanent marker:) That is what friends are for.

It is never easy to just sit back and let someone do it, but stopping them would not help. No I don't mean leave them totally alone, tell them you don't like where they are going or what they are doing. And if the moment arrives don't hesitate to give them a swift "Stupid in the head" (a smack in the back of the head). In a friendly and loving way of course. We all stumble and fall from time to time, hell anyone that has stuck around with me for the last several years knows that is the truth. All of you stuck it out with me, and I was no picnic to be around.

In conclusion I will say it again and again until my dying day. I am here for you if you need someone to talk to. My ear is always open as is my heart. You cannot burden me beyond my capacity, God gave me really big shoulders so use them.

Either way we, your friends, are going to stress about it. Better that we know what is up and can stress about the real problem not the million that we imagine out of ignorance.

There is no ignorance; there is knowledge
There is no fear; there is understanding
There is no ego; there is fellowship

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!