One dream to rule them all

Hello and welcome the mind of a mad man.

Yes it has finally come to me that there is no way that I am not crazy.

Why? You ask.

What else would you call someone that truly seeks to be a honest to God Jedi.

Yes I said Jedi and I am saying that I have in the past held the ideal of the Jedi as the way to go with a life.

Now please understand that I am not saying it was a bad idea. In fact the tense of the above sentence is correct, I am striving to become a Jedi. I had walked away from this dream several years ago, because I felt it was immature and not something that a grow man should believe in.

Then I find myself reading a book that someone lent to me. I, Jedi.

Yeah I have been struggling with this book for, what like almost a year. I am still in the teens as far as chapters go.

I was unable to get father because I was unable to deal with some of the slight similarities between how I am feeling at this moment and those of the main character. I am still finding it difficult to read on because every page reveals yet one more slight thing that fits something that I have felt recently.

All of this would have been of little concern if I did not remember how inside I wanted to be a Jedi. Always have and I must admit always will.

But to this is not something that is easy. There is a basic concept that goes with being a Jedi that I know that I have little chance of living up to.

The concept that we are all connected and thus there is no self only the whole life. We are all just facets of the complete being that is God. To really touch this power and find the "Force" the first thing that must go is the center in self.

Now please believe me that this is not something that I came to easily. I like things and at first look this means that like a Jedi you don't have things. But then I realize that the old Jedi order was portrayed as incorrect. They did not have it right cause if they did they would not have fallen. That prophecy over Anikin indicated that the Force was out of balance when the old Jedi order was in power.

This would indicate to me that what Lucas was saying that they were wrong.

I am still trying to gather my thoughts on this, but what I can say is that I have decided to retake this dream.

I will become a Jedi. There is not try, only do or do not. I chose to do.

There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.

This is where I start, but where I finish is the future.

Always in motion is the future.

Excelsior!!!