A time for one, a time for all and a time for none

Arrgh I had this all typed and it erased it, so here I go again.

I sit here and type this while my insides are going every which direction. I have a hope and a dream that I hold on to and will not, nay cannot let go. I tried and it came back with a vengeance. The trouble is that everything tells me that it is not real, never going to happen or come true. But what else do I have to hold onto? Nothing.

I know that this world has walked away from it's imagination, it has allowed stupid things to get in the way of dreams. We need to get back to embracing those dreams and making them real. That is what makes this world great. Everything that we enjoy now is the result of someone taking a dream and believing in it so strong that they did what it took to make it real. This country would not be here if someone had not thought that religious freedom was a possibility. They believed in a place where anyone could believe what every they wanted and not be persecuted for it. And what do you know, they made it real. Of course there were bumps and screw ups along the way, but that is what happens. How we deal with those bumps is what is important. Now we did not do so well then and we still have some trouble now but that is a different subject altogether.

The trouble is that I don't know when I should take the leap and try and make the dream come true. That is the crux of the problem, the sticky wicket and the real trick. I don't think that anyone can know when to take the plunge. When they should reach out for the rope that they believe is there but cannot see and if it dose exist may just be out of reach.

I guess that is where faith comes in. Everything inside of me is telling me to reach out, take the chance. It is my head that keeps me in check. I may just have to rely on faith and stretch out my hand and see if what I hope is there, is there.

I am just afraid that if I do and it is not, that what I dream of will slip away forever. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Simple science that speaks volumes to my fear.

I just don't know. I have to make a decision and soon or I will go crazy inside and out.

I am not going to get depressed or fall into a funk, just look for something to make some sense out of all of this and give me some direction, or at least some impetus to "shit or get off the pot" as a good friends mom would say. Love that woman and her unconventional manner.

I am ready to face the day now, I feel better. I may not know where I am going but I am damn happy to be on the way.

I leave with word that holds a special place in my heart. It means a lot to me.

Excelsior!