Matt-Man Meets the Challenge

Hail and well met

I went blog hopping and found these on a friends blog. So here are my results.

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Your Birthdate: September 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head. You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking. People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right. You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself. Your strength: Your original approach to thinking Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others Your power color: Pale blue Your power symbol: Wavy line Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It was fun and somewhat humbling. But who cares. I am Matt-Man!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, You've Got It!

Hail and well met

It has been a little while since I posted. Mostly I have been working or recovering from work. There are a few things have happened, seeing Terri being the most notable.

I am in good spirits and health. The next two weeks will be telling as I am working for the majority of both of them. It is good news on the cash flow note but as far as free time goes it sucks. Ah well I am not one to complain...much. It is the same ole' soapbox. No set scheduling, being on call 24/6 (we all have Sunday off) and all the stress that comes from coming in to someone else's mess and cleaning it up. Now it has been rougher then usual as I have run afoul of my Post Master. It started with a simple mistake while recording my time on the card and then followed up later that week by a misunderstanding that was taken to far. I won't go into details as I am not sure where that dreaded boundary line is on what is privileged information and what is open to the public.

Today things seemed better but I know that the ugliness is just waiting under the surface to pop out and strike me. Unfortunately what they don't understand is the one fact that keeps me going with a smile on my face (albeit pained and strained at times) and that fact is ....

I am Matt-Man
and
I am INVINCIBLE!!!!

No weapon formed against me shall prosper and any voice that rises up against me I shall condemn. If the attempt to come in like a flood, a standard shall be raised against them.

These are paraphrased verses from the bible (yes I still believe in and read it). So just let them try and destroy me and they will discover just how painful it feels to run into a solid brick wall (spiritually speaking that is).

Things are going well and I am looking forward to the next few months and the challenges that come along with them.

I hope this finds all well and if not then let me know about it. Give me a call, drop me a email or something. Come on people I am your friend and I care. I may not have the time or mental capacity to call I apologize but the communication road goes both ways.

Anyway enough for this post I am off to change my clothes, relax for a while and then maybe go see Resident Evil Extinction.

May the Force be with you all

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Roller Coaster of Life

Hail and well met

Wow it has been a roller coaster since my last post. To start off I had an amazing time at Lothlorien. The weather not withstanding (it was hot and humid in the day but the nights were cool, literally cold). It was great seeing everyone again. Walking through those woods was relaxing and revitalizing.

Then I got back. Today was a royal pain in the ass. Tons of mail and to top it all off getting dumped half of route 10. On a Monday they decide to give me half of another route, albeit the aux route (which means it is not big enough to be considered a real full time route) it is still a pain to deal with more stops when Penny Savers are involved.

So after working an 11 hour day half of which was in a car with the sun beating down I am in a world of pain and discomfort.

Now comes some good news. It is going to be an awesome rest of the week. Thursday I am running up to Terri's for a lobster dinner at Bob Chins with a tour of the facility. It should be amazing. Then after work Saturday I am again running to see Terri but this time it is at a campground in Peoria and then back to her place. The great thing is that I don't work on that Monday so I can stay and be with her. It is going to be AMAZING!

So yeah it has been a upper and downer couple of days. But life is that way sometimes. It is not the things that happen to us but how we deal with them that counts.

Ok that is all for this post I will see everyone later.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Counts Down to Loth!

Hail and well met

There are only 3 and a half days till Loth!!!!!!

I am so psyched about going I cannot express how I am looking forward to this. I have Saturday off and although I am working that Monday I can get home in plenty of time to get sleep.

YEAH LOTH!!!!!!!!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, More then Meets the Eye

Ok I know my last post was heavy but I just found this and had to try it out. Well guess what? I found out which Transformer I am.....


Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!

HA! I got the coolest and baddest Autobot of them all The Amazing Bumblebee!

That just made my day!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is...

Hail and well met

It has been a deep and painful morning. Today is the 16th of September and it is my birthday. I was born in 1969 in St. James hospital. Today I am 38 years old.

At first I tried to forget about it being my birthday. I had all but succeeded when my awesome girlfriend Terri reminded me last night. Thank you sweetie it was important that I not forget it or let it pass by. You are the most amazing thing in my life and the reason for me staying in the world. With out you I would have slipped back into my ghost mode and allowed everything to pass me by. In you I have found the strength to fight off the darkness that dwells within and tries again and again to drag me down and turn my eyes inward. You see the inward turned eye sees nothing but self and in that I would have lost any vision of that which lies outside. I was there once before and it was the worst time of my life. All I concerned myself with was how I was in pain and alone, but I was creating that by looking only inward. I was keeping everyone and everything away, it has taken me a long time to be willing to say all of this.

We are taught that evil, the devil or whatever you call it exists outside as some entity. This incarnation of evil attempts to hurt us or turn us away from goodness with these powers that seem to be greater then the powers of good. That is a lie and to use the colloquialism "straight out of the pit of hell". This thing is not outside in some fire filled pit, it is within all of us. It is that voice that tries to turn us against ourselves. As for its great powers, it has none save the ability to lie and lie well. It has to trick us into using our own God given powers for its purpose. That is how it works. We are the creation of the Creator and in such we are given a measure of his power, the power to create. No matter how big or small we all create in some way, fashion or form and that is the Creator's power expressing itself through us. This pathetic little evil has no powers of its own so it lies to us and tricks us into using our powers for its needs and in turn we hurt others and make things that hurt others and ourselves.

This morning it almost won. I almost turned away from everything I know is right and gave up. It was trying to make me feel that I am a waste of space and time. With sickening sweet words it tried to convince me that I was not worthy of all the good things in my life or capable of being anything more then I am right now. Worst of all it tried to take away Terri by making me think I was not worthy of her and that she could do better with someone else, so I should push her away to find that person.

But all of that is a HUGE LIE. A lie that I don't buy into nor do I give any credence to. To go back to a moment when I found light in darkness the first time I recall two things. One is a quote from a movie that is a abridged version of a quote from an inspirational speaker named Marianne Willamson and I place it here for all to read again.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

The second is a strange little audio clip that I cannot find again, maybe it never really existed except for that moment when I needed it. I will do my best to paraphrase.

We are the creation of the Creator, no matter what you call him. He did not create us to be weak and powerless but gave us great power. He gave it to us! All we have to do is except it we become invincible. We have to envision him giving us this power, this light as all of our friends, loved ones do as well. We are invincible! Just except that nothing can destroy you, the real you not this crude body of flesh and blood, the being of light that is the real you and me.

Ever since I heard and read these two things I have found that I can face that inner voice of doubt and fear with renewed strength and resistance.

Even this morning when it struck with vengeance.

I was watching "Lady in the Water" ,an awesome movie and it struck. I do not choose to give its words the any power by repeating them. It is safe to say that it attacked me on many levels. Maybe it was the fact of it being my birthday and all that it brings with it, I was weak to its attack and almost fell to it. It is also the fact that I am coming to realize that yet again I am losing my family.

No not my parents, although there is some trouble there as well. No I am referring to my extended family. You see I lost the family I made in high school when everyone went away, I quickly found others but it still hurt. Then I had a family at 3D House of Games, but they were taken away. Then I had the family at Gameopolis and for all my might they are going away as well. Please don't misunderstand I know it is the natural progression of things and I am glad and proud that everyone is developing their own lives and taking the first steps on their own paths, but that does not stop it from hurting. Things have passed and will never be again. I must accept this and in doing so move on.

All of these things have built up in me and that damnable voice tried to trick me into falling the abyss because of them. Only one thing kept me from falling in.

Terri.

I love you so much! It was thinking about you and what we have together that gave me the ability to turn away and allow the voice to fall silent. It was knowing how you feel about me that filled my limbs with strength to type this and in doing so fully free myself from its grip. Thank you for loving me and know that I shall always love you.

I AM MATT-MAN!

I AM INVINCIBLE!

WE ARE ALL INVINCIBLE!

To close I quote from Babylon 5 a Egyptian blessing...

May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

May the Force be with you all

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man on Zombies...

Hail and well met

Yup I am feeling in an undead mood and trust Youtube to help me express it. I hope you all enjoy these offerings, if you have already seen them

Tough!

I like them and that is that.

HA I love being a little brat.

Well not so little but definitely a brat

Later all

May the Flesh be with you

Excelsior!!!

Things Go Better With Matt-Man

Hail and well met

It has been a few days since I posted. Mostly because I have been running around. Last weekend I went up to see Terri for Labor day. It was amazing.

Since then I have been running around like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I have never seen such a rush of mail. We still have not caught up. I have been getting up an hour earlier and getting home later. It looks to be around 10 to 12 hour days. I am hoping to get Friday off and make a trip up to see everyone Thursday night and maybe Friday during the day and early evening. I am also going to make it up to Ferric's concert and B-Day Bash this Saturday.

It should be awesome.

Oh I know I have not posted the rest of the Gen Con report...in truth I will do so but consider it the abridged cliffnote version. Sort of the bullet points.

Other then that I am good, tired but good. I cannot wait to see everyone.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

I'd Sleep with Matt-Man...

Hail and well met

Yeah I would have to say that if given a chance I would sleep with Matt-Man, of course I have to since I am Matt-Man but it is a good feeling to know that if I ever found myself at a bar I wouldn't mind going home with me.

I do have to say that things are not really great. I don't know what is wrong but I know I am not right. No I don't intend to spiral into a boring post about me (and lets face it I am quite boring). No I am just trying to get a handle on why all of a sudden I am unable to get away...

Wait I may have just put my finger on it and I don't really like it one bit.

I was getting away from my P's when I went out to lansing before and now I don't have to do that to be me I can be me right here. I am not being repressed by the set of conditions that I was living in. Wait that really makes me an asshole. Cause I used people as an escape from my situation and now that that situation has changed I seem to be unable to head out and see them?

Oh CRAP! What the fuck is wrong with me? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

I don't want to think that I can do something like that but it is apparent that I have and am doing that. That only means one thing, I have to change what I a doing.

I will cut myself a little slack as it is the first time in my life I am free to be the me that has always been locked up while I was living at my P's house. It is kind of like not having something for a real long time and then being able to have it and going ape shit. There is a word for that, what is it?

Oh yeah binging.

Alright then I have to stop binging and take control of my life and change.

Crap what was I originally going to post on? I lost sight of it in the light of self realization. Damn bright light...

No

Damn sunrise, hurts my eyes!

Ben for Pope!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

(when I remember what I was going to post about I will, until then this is it....sorry)

Matt-Man on The Movies

Hail and well met

I know that I have to finish talking about Gen Con and I will but first I have to talk about a movie I just found out about. Knowing how things go I am sure I am the last to know about it but here it goes anyway. It is called Dragon War and it is a special effects extravaganza. I gather from the story that dragons once were used as weapons in ancient wars and some how come back in present day. I don't care about the story much cause I intend on watching dragons of all types battle it out on the big screen. Take a look at the trailer and some of the other stuff on the site Dragon-war.

Ok now to finish talking about Gen Con. Were did I leave off, oh yeah I went back to the hotel and went to sleep. Well not right away I had to figure out what I was going to do all the next day. So I looked and searched through the event catalog for things I wanted to do. I found several seminars I wanted to attend (yes I said wanted to but I will explain soon). So with that in mind I shut off the TV set my phone alarm and went to bed.

I awoke the next morning all ready to go. I had gotten up at around 6 so I had plenty of time to make it to my first seminar at 8. I showered and dressed then headed out. After spending 40 plus minutes finding a way down town and then a parking space I was ready to get down to buisness. I waked in and found my friend Dennis first so I could try and coordinate that evenings activities. As I was talking to him I overheard someone talking and mentioning the time. The said it was 8:30, which by my phone was an hour off. I mentioned it to Dennis and he said something about it being an hour difference down here to up by us. Being a dense block I didn't even realize what that meant.

So I took off to make it to my seminar. As I approached the door I could hear people talking inside and then the doors opened as people left the seminar. It had just ended. I stood there and realized what a idiot I had been. I forgot to set my phone ahead an hour, but then again I thought it did that on its own.

Well that set the tone for my seminar viewing for the rest of the day. I went to the dealer hall and waked around. I stopped by the Privateer booth and saw something new. They are coming out with wreck tokens for jacks. They come in two sizes and sit on a base so they can be removed if lets say they are used for something. I like them and will be picking them up as soon as they are available through Mr.S. I have to say it was a really packed booth and I found it hard to maneuver so I didn't get a good look to see if any new mini's were being displayed. I was happy to see the interest and activity at their booth.

The other big things I saw, well the one big thing I say was Magnificent Ego's booth. They were teamed up with Dead Gentlemen Productions. The grand news is that Gamers 2 is done but now it is waiting for someone to pick it up for distribution. I saw a miniature that I wanted to check out but then decided not to cause I couldn't afford to spend that kind of money cause although I love magnificent ego's miniatures but the ones I love are REAL EXPENSIVE. It looked like an amber hulk queen cause it had wings! It was cool. The big problem now is that I cannot find it on the web to figure out it's name. Anyway while I was there I had an opportunity to talk to the guys and found out that Margret Wies productions is making a RPG for the Demon Hunters license. I have the starter rules and from what I have read it sounds like a blast.

I have a training DVD for the game and it should be funny (no I haven't looked at it as I am holding off till we all can have a look). I wanted to catch the debut showing of Gamers 2 but again I missed it cause if I tried to go I would have missed going to the VIG dinner with Dennis. Which was pretty cool. I got to see some people in the industry like Gary Gygax, Zev from Z-Man games and a few others that I don't know. It was an awesome meal with some other gamers. The meal was awesome, I mean real food not standard buffet fare.

Anyway I had a blast and it was a good time. I have a plan for next year and I will let everyone in soon.

I have to apologize to everyone for being so distant but things are just nuts around here. I keep trying to find time but every time I turn around something goes wrong or takes way longer then I planned. Tomorrow I am going to come out. I don't care what is going on I am going to come out and see everyone. I will car before just in case it is a bad idea but I am calling and coming out. I really miss seeing everyone. It really sucks. I have so much I want to do and time seems to escape me.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Love It or Leave It...

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Matt-Man comes home...Finally!

Hail and well met

Well I am home and done with the running around I have been doing. I have a ton to talk about but I have no time right now. I just want to stop by and tell everyone that all is good and I am very well.

I will post again in the next few day telling all about Gen Con and everything else.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Returns...Oh Wait He Is Off Again!!!

Hail and well met

I don't have a lot of time to type but I just wanted to say that I am back and heading up to see Terri at the CD release party. Tomorrow looks in jeopardy due to the rain. In fact I am going to have to say it is most likely a wash out (ha ha but I am not kidding). I do know that Terri wants to do something for Labor Day weekend and it may work out that we end up going on that Monday after a party on Sunday, which everyone is invited to.

As far as Gen Con is concerned it was a good trip, not perfect but good. Perfect is going to be next year...but that a story for later.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Countdown to GenCon

Hail and well met

Well it is getting closer every minute. As I see it there is about 12 an a half hours till I take off. It is going to be an amazing weekend, crazy busy but amazing. I will roll into Indianapolis around 12 or 1 o'clock. I plan on heading back early Saturday morning and should be in town around 10 or 11 o'clock. I will be stopping around the area before I head off to met up with Terri and make our way to Chicago City Limits for the CD release party for Khaos Theory. I just found out about it earlier this week. If anyone wishes to come along that is cool. I know it is rather sudden but again I only just figured out it was this weekend.

After that wonderful evening of drunken debauchery, and as long as the weather doesn't screw things by raining we will be heading to the ren fair on Sunday.

Well I am heading off to bed so I can get up and get ready. I hope to see everyone soon and those that are off at school I hope all is well and I will hopefully see you soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...Yeah that is it

Hail and well met

So things are what they are. People are starting to head off back to school. Yet again I feel the sensation of a house with all the children leaving. At times I am really glad I don't have children because I don't think I could handle watching them go away.

Well yet again I am working extra hours. Now please don't think that I am really complaining but as I have said before it is just the random nature of it all. Well no matter what I am going to Gen Con this Thursday and Friday. Then I am back in town for a few hours the off to Terri's for a trip to the Ren Fair this Sunday. Hey again anyone that wants to go with feel free to shoot me a line and we can work something. I am coming back on Sunday evening cause I work on Monday.

That is all the time I have right now. I will talk to all when I have a moment.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Rides Again!

Hail and well met

Well the car is fixed. It was the fan and the adjoining relay that had broken not allowing the radiator to be cooled when the car is standing still or in extreme stop and go driving (like delivering mail). Well they are both replaced and everything is working up to specs.

Unfortunately that leaves me quite out of cash. That of course sucks cause it keeps me stuck here in the house and more importantly prevents me from doing the ren fair this weekend.

But that is not really uber important. I will try and be around see everyone cause I know that we are fast approaching the return to school. Which brings me to a rather painful sticking point. My game has really fallen by the way side. I apologize to all for not being able to get out there and keep it going. I only hope we can pull off at least a couple of more sessions to try and wrap things up. I am not giving up on the game but it may have to go into the freezer.

Ok I don't have much more to say right now. I miss seeing everyone. I miss swimming. I miss hanging out. In truth it really sucks ass and I am getting really pissed off about it. But there is not one damn thing I can do right now about it which is the most painful thing about it.

I hope to see everyone soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Gets Hot

Hail and well met

Things have gotten annoying. My car is giving me a royal pain in the ass. Yesterday it decided to overheat while I was working. Luckily one of the other subs could come out and drive while I delivered the mail. When I got back and started my car it was fine, on the drive home it was fine. No sign of over heating at all. This morning when I went to work it was fine. Then I started delivering the mail and it overheated again. So I had to deliver the mail with the heater blasting, what fun. So it appears that something is wrong possibly the fan or something else. Anyway it has totally screwed me. I was supposed to go up and be with Terri for her Relay for Life in Antioch. That is out. I was also hoping to get out to Lansing, that is also out. So here I get to sit on my ass with nothing to do.

Well that is about the size of it. My car is going in on my first day off which is Tuesday. I hope it is cheap cause right now I am getting really close to broke. I was trying to save some cash for GenCon but at this rate I will not even bother going. Dammit this really sucks.

The biggest thing is that I cannot go see anyone. Time is running out for hanging out, let alone maybe trying to play a game.

Well I hope everything is going well with everyone.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...What were you expecing.......Nixon??

Hail and well met one and all

Welcome to my blog.

Yes Yes I know that it has been here for awhile and I have posted a number of things here but every once and awhile it is important to stop and realize that maybe some people have stumbled on this blog and do not know me in person like most of the readers do. Of course they should go running and screaming in terror at what they read here cause I am a crazy lunatic but hey if they happen to share my insanity then welcome aboard, feel free to say hi or anything what so ever.

Also it is important to make a distinction between what came before and what will come after. Yes I have done this before but it usually accompanied me totally tossing away my blog and starting a new one. Well not this time. I have no reason to change the blog just because I have changed. But what you might ask has changed?

I have discovered my passion. Oh I have spoken on numerous occasions about how I am the defender of creativity and the champion of imagination. Well true as that may be it is also a fact that I have done little or nothing to aid that cause. That is about to change. I discovered a whole pile of stuff that I had acquired to make games with. Games that I made or were making. I have realized that my most happy moments (aside from the time I spend with Terri and my friends) are when I am plugging away at a game. From designing the story or premise to actually formulating the rules I love it all. I feel complete when I am doing it and I get a sense of satisfaction from it as well.

Now don't get me wrong I intend to keep my day job, although it may not be needed if things really take off. Oh and don't think I don't hear the naysayers "there is no market for that" "It is just a pipe dream". Yeah maybe it is but it was also the pipe dream of a little man that wanted to write stories and publish them. Stan Lee is one of my greatest inspirations and a hero of mine. He never set out to do what he did, he didn't go to school to do it and he had no training in it either. If he can do all that he has done then I can do what I dream as well. Again it won't be easy but I will make it happen!

So please realize that I am serious and I will not brook any down playing or nay saying. I don't have time to defend my choice nor am I inclined to. If you don't like it then either keep it to yourself or expect to be ignored. No I don't believe that anyone really wants to do either of those but just in case there is the warning. No one can sue me for not taking the proper precautions with hazardous matt-erial.


HA HA yes I said it and I meant it.

So I am just back from having 300 dollars I don't have ripped from my ass for my brakes. What really sucks is that I just had them done not more then a month an a half ago. Well it appears the motherless sons of mutant lame goats didn't do a good job or a proper job. Anyway my mechanic fixed it but it is going to hurt. I may have to curtail my outside activities which sucks. The one things I cannot forgo is the Relay for Life this weekend with Terri, I promised to be there and I will.

Yeah I know again a Sunday that supers may not happen, but from the way people were acting I don't think anyone really cares about it anyway.

So I am going to be blitzing this all over. August the 5th I would like to invite anyone and everyone to join myself and my good woman at the Bristol Renaissance Fair. Now I know it is short notice but it is a chance for a large group to go (since people are going back to collage). I was thinking of heading up Saturday night and people could camp out or sleep inside (remember Terri has 2 cats and 1 dog) Then an early morning jaunt up to the fair and a good day had by all.

Let me know cause if it won't work we can move it back to the 19th.

Ok that is all the time I have to type right now. See everyone soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is ALIVE....HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Hail and well met

Ok Matt-man is not dead, maybe a zombie but not dead.

The Force is not a dream nor is it stupid

Oh yeah and there is a God and he hates when you say there isn't one.

No I wasn't visited by an angelic being that made me see that I was being a dumbass. I was just sitting watching "That 70's Show" and I realized that things are what they are and I need to get off my butt. Yeah there are things that are not cool in my life but they aren't going to fix themselves nor will sitting around feeling sorry for myself and whining about how things suck going to get them done. Yeah it is hard when your energy is sucked out of by life but that is the way it is.

I am not giving up. It ain't going to be easy and I have a shit-ton to learning to do but if I want my dreams to become reality I have to make it happen......

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

I hate that phrase! I really do. It was the crappy catch phrase at Toy's R Us back in the day. It was so annoying to hear those lazy managers stand there and spout off all this crap that we had to do and then top it off with "So lets make it happen.". Such hypocrites cause they would then go and hide in the managers office or the SKU booth to avoid actually working. I hated them so much, almost as much as that phrase and here I am using it.

And meaning it, and understanding what it means! CRAP!


Ok that really depresses me. Takes all the wind out of my sails.

Well I can tell you one thing. I may "make it happen" but dammit I am doing it my way. NO TIES! NO UGLY SMOCKS! AND NO FUCKING GIRAFFES!!!!!

Yeah take that, no giraffes.

Well this post has gone way off target but I feel better.

I will talk to everyone soon, and I will post a more lucid...um post....damn that sounds stupid but what else can I call it...Oh I know a word thingy!


Yeah like I can be lucid, ha who am I kidding.

May the Force be with all of you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...What we talking about?

Hail and well met

Well I know I have been out of the loop. It has been real hard to run the routes I have been running, getting up at 6 to be to work by 7 and then work until 3 or 4 (on a good day that is). I get home and find I lack any energy to do much of anything but doing a few thing around here and then get to bed for the next day. I was hoping that I would be getting better at it by now but it does not seem to be working out that way.

I would normally apologize here for being gone but that is not going to happen. I am not sorry just...I guess the word is disappointed. It appears that I have been under some delusion about how life could (or as I believed, should) work. Now I can see that any idea of being my own anything was stupid. I am just a cog in someone else's machine and that is all I can ever hope to be. I don't have the skills or talents to break out and leave the slave pits behind. When I should have been learning such skills and garnering such talents I was "having fun". Stupid! I am so dumb.

I could list off a number of things that I am pissed at right now. The biggest problem is that the only one that really sticks is ME.

Yeah I thought I had come so far. Had reached such pinnacles and left these thoughts behind. Well it appears that all I was doing was lying to and disillusioning myself. I am a loser of the first magnitude and a failure to rival my Father.

Way to go Dad! You succeeded in making a better dumbass then you. GREAT!

Whatever.

There is no God.

The Force is a stupid dream

and super heroes are for children or lunatics.

Matt-Man is dead.....

?????Ok it appears that I cannot enter a title for this post????
So here it goes the old fashion way.


Matt-Man is on the Job!


Hail and well met

Well things have been a bit strained as of late. I have been working which is good. On the other hand it has been insanely hot when I worked and it has been kicking my ass (quite literally but I won't go into details). It has affected my ability to do much of anything. Working on my move has come to a complete halt, well almost I did accomplish some things today but not nearly as much as I need to have done by now.

Yeah I know all things take time but this is just getting to me. I mean I need the money (boy that is an understatement) but I also need the time to get the things done that I have to get done. I guess the big problem is just the physical affect it is having on me.

I also have been dealing with the fact that I have not been able to spend the time with Terri that I need to. Oh yes believe me it has become a need and a want. I like being around her, I like the way I think around her and the way she makes me feel (no sickos I don't mean that way...but that is amazing as well) I know that I love her and I want to do the best I can to make it possible for us to be together, and that is the other half of the problem. I don't think the Post Office is going to allow that to happen. I don't know if I can explain it in words but I just have this sinking sensation that I cannot depend on this job to see me though. Maybe it is just my past experiences creeping in to my mind but it is there.

Meh I am not getting anywhere with this and I know that it doesn't resolve anything. I have to make some decisions and take some chances. Boy that is tough given my past. Ah yes old wounds never really do heal you just forget about them until they come up again and it all comes flooding back. The pain the loss and the crashing of dreams.

Again I am saying meh. I am going to do what I have to do cause the other option is to give up on having a life with Terri...well if she wants one with me.

What is going to happen will happen and there is nothing I can do about it but enjoy the ride. Maybe I can choose the seat I am sitting in? I used to sit in the back but maybe now is the time to sit in the front?

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man on a Mission

Hail and well met

Well I have been digging into the background of that mysterious trailer at the beginning of Transformers. What I have found is little to nothing.

The production company for the film is Bad Robot. This is the same company that did the TV series Alias and Lost. They are also the company behind the new Star Trek movie.

From what I gather it is a giant monster movie as I figured, but not Godzilla. The film is going to be shot from a first person perspective using home video cameras. The way it sounds there will be little or no shots of the monster in question only the carnage and madness that ensues. Sounds interesting and I would go see it. I will keep my ears and eyes open on the subject.

Oh and by the way it is being called CLOVERFIELD as a working title for security and secrecy reasons. Apparently there was a Youtube video of the trailer but it was pulled by Paramount for copyright issues. Yeah like that will last more then a couple of days before it shows up again.

Anyway it sounds intersing and I have to say the trailer caught my attention and peeked my interest. In fact I would have to agree that it is one of the best trailers I have seen in a while.

Ok that is all for now. I have to get ready and head out to the loft for the PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is Bust

Hail and well met

Well as the title says I am bust, broke, nearly penniless. I just got paid and after making sure I have gas money for the next two weeks to get to and from work I have not much left. I have had to push off paying some bills and just got an email from Stand Up about my account being past due.

Yeah it sucks and I am feeling a little down on myself at the moment. I mean what good is it to be employed if you still are broke and unable to cover your bills.

Meh I really don't want to get into that here. I did it years ago and basically bored myself and everyone else to tears. Life sucks and that is that.

I could go on for hours and pages on my view of the world right now. Again it is pointless and futile.

Well the real suck news is that I will have to curtail most of my trips to Lansing. So you won't be seeing me for the next couple of weeks. I do plan on making it out to Supers on Sunday and I am going to squeak out getting to Transformers on Monday, after that I will be going to work and then sitting home.

Yup that is my life in a nutshell. Just like my father before me. Work, eat, sleep. Yes just live to work for someone else. As far as dreaming is concerned I am going to take a hint from my sleep and quit it. What is the point. In my experience they are good for is wasting a lot of time and effort to try and make them real only to have them ripped away and torn to shreds in front of you by bastards that don't deserve to breath let alone live.

Damn it I wasn't going to rant. Sorry but I am going to let it stand. Forgive me for wasting you time.

Whatever

Matt-Man flies high

Hail and well met

Wow things have been running past at break neck speed and I seem to be in like neutral or something. I know this move thing is driving me crazy on some levels cause no matter how hard I try I just don't seem to be getting ahead. Also I have some other brands in the fire but now the wood is running out. Stupid jobs and not giving hours. The more I try and get done the less gets accomplished. I don't even have 4 different campaigns this summer and I still seem to be lost, in a haze.

On the plus side I have more energy then usual and don't find my self getting tired as much other then the lack of sleep. That can be addressed though. I am feeling healthy and not having as bad a allergy season as I used to.

I do miss swimming though. I need to get over to the pool at least once this season.

OH just to let people know that are going to be around this weekend Terri is coming down either Saturday after work or Sunday in the morning. She is bringing Grizzly down so we will be limited in what we do but she did mention doing the pool ;) Yes I do have a sick mind. Anyway if anyone is around I don't know what is going on for sure but keep me in the loop so I can make adjustments to whatever we are doing.

So I went and saw Rise of the Silver Surfer. I liked it as a sequel and thought it was decent. No it was not a perfect depiction of the comic book...but how would that even be possible? I mean really if they were doing a literal depiction then it would have been the Mole Man and not Galactius in this film. Oh yeah that would have been worth seeing, like the most lame villain in the marvel universe even with his recent return in ...I don't know what the story line is but he is still lame. I for one am glad they did decide to tackle the Surfer and I believe they did a good job. And with the pop up at the end of the movie we can rest assured that he will make his return and possibly even of Galactius. I had a good time and like it so that is what matters.

I am looking forward to Transformers and the Golden Compass. I still want to track down Black Sheep and see it.

I also want to get the Supers Game off the Ground better and move the story forward. I do have to talk to you Ben and get you the information on the Freehold. Also I have to find out which ones of you may be considering joining or not. I know Archer is in but what about the rest? I know all of you don't have access to this blog but spread the word amongst those that don't and let me know. I will also post something on the boards.

Ok well I am done blogging right now. I will see everyone tomorrow if Fading Suns is going on otherwise I plan on getting wet...IN THE POOL YOU SICKOS!


May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Double Dips...

NO I DON'T MEAN IN THAT WAY! YOU SICKOS!!

No I was on line and happened to find this and it looks hilarious! Take a look. I have to find a theater to see it in.

http://www.blacksheep-themovie.com/

So Who is this Matt-Man anyway?

Hail and well met.

Have you ever had a moment when all the fragments of reality that you thought you understood jumped up and came together for a split second to give you a tremendous "STUPID IN THE HEAD!" (a blow across the back of the head by a loved one for doing something really detrimental or plain dumb) . Well that happened today. I have to say that for maybe the third or forth time I got pulled up by the short hairs.

Now I really don't feel ready to completely explain the circumstances around this event but I can express the meaning of this event. Yeah it sounds vague and cryptic but that is what makes it fun :)

A series of events today forced me to reevaluate my outlook on life and the way I am living it. Well there was a GIANT discrepancy between the two. I did something that made no sense. I take things in my life seriously and devote the time I need to them. But time and time again I find I come up short when deadlines come. I had one of those things happen today and I really didn't want this situation to pass me by because I failed to live up to my obligation. As I thought about it I came face to face with the truth that although I take these things seriously, I don't take my life seriously at all. I don't have much respect for my life or the time I have been given. I didn't put it together that I had to manage my time so I could do the things that needed to be done, do them right and not just focus all the time to get something trivial done right now. In the end no matter my intentions I fail to accomplish the things I have to set forth to get done. It also follows that at the end of the day I am unreliable even though I really did intend to get things done.

Well I have decided to respect my life a little more and as such do more to manage my time to accomplish those things that I have promised to do by the time I said I would do them. I will spend the time to prepare for those things that I am going to do.

I know that it is not going to be an easy road and it will up to me to do what is needed to be done.

I have to give thanks to the universe and the creator for giving me that little bit of clarity. Now I have to do all that I can to make the most of it.

I cannot wait for certain events to come to fruition so that I can share what is going on. Some may think I am crazy but trust me I am wide awake and my eyes are wide open. But anymore would give it away.

I thank all of you for being my family, friends and more. I love you Terri!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is Matt-Man- Except No Imitations

Hail and well met

Yup I have decided to re-commit myself to being the superhero that I am. No this doesn't mean that I am not feeling the feelings that I spoke of in my earlier post. What it means is how I am choosing to deal with those feelings.

I am thinking like a superhero! I am going to overcome them in a spectacular way that proves my wits and skills are a match for anything I face. That is what being a superhero is all about.

Lets face it, Super Heroes are not just a cape and powers. There are any number of heroes out there that don't even have super powers to speak of. What really separates Super Heroes from mundanes is how they think. When Spider-man realized he had powers he did what any normal thinking person would, how do I make money with these. Well we know that in the story he didn't stick with that game plan. Instead he decided to do something crazy and insane. He put on a costume and fought bad guys. Now someone out there is going to say that it is all a comic book and has not standing in everyday life...

BULLSHIT!

If you think that is true then ask yourself this. With no powers at all and only the limits of mundane science would you fight crime? Well everyday men and women get up and don their "costumes" and do just that. They are called Police officers. Hey what about running into a burning building to save someone? Yeah firemen.

What about going against the universal belief that something cannot be done. So ingrained in the world is this idea that every top person in that field denounces it as impossible and seeking to do it is grounds for commitment into a facility for the criminally insane.

Well that one has several different answers. The Wright brothers, Thomas Eddison, Alexander Graham Bell just to name a few. These people all did exactly the opposite of what the common consensus was. More importantly they succeeded!

You see this is why I believe in championing imagination and creativity. I don't know how but I am going to make it and make it BIG.

Get ready out there cause I am putting on the Matt-Man costume and kicking some villainous evil stinky ass.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!!

Matt-Man Runs Out of Gas

Hail and well met

No I did not actually run out of gas. It is a metaphor for what I am feeling right now. I have been reading up on some blogs and ran into an interesting metaphor as well, one that kind of parallels my feelings.

In some ways I find that I am in my metaphorical car that now has no gas and find that even if I did I don't know where the hell I am going. That really frustrates me to the core. I had so many dreams and I thought I still did but I find that I really don't believe in them much any more. I have this great game (at least that is what everyone says to me after they play it or see it) but yet not one person really seems interested in making it with me. So what the hell is the point? I don't have the cash to fund it so it is floating in limbo.

But here is the thing. I cannot give up on it. I tried just now to write that it was dead and inside of me I screamed. I have to hold on to my dreams and believe that I will one day see them made manifest.

I have my job... Yeah believe me that if I wanted to sell my soul and life to the Post Office I could have a crappy job that will pay me maybe 40 or 50 grand a year. Now if anyone really knows the job market and the cost of living they realize that that is not a good wage. It basically just covers that basics and leaves nothing else. Yes there is sick and vacation leave but the hoops can be a real bitch. For me it just doesn't equal out to being chained six days a week to a job that can fluctuate everyday from reasonable to insane.

Oh and then you have the Union.

Now don't get me wrong it has a place. I personally joined even though I didn't have to but here is the crux of my problem. For all that it does to make sure we are represented it also protects those that don't deserve to stay employed. I see it every day, people not doing their job and making everyone else work harder for no more cash to make up the difference.

God I hate bitching about having a job but all I see is a set of chains and bars that will have me kneeling 20 more years of my life away whilst getting me no further to my dreams. I don't want to end up a bitter heartless self centered bastard. I see the world and I want to live in it as a participant not a passenger.

GAHHHHHH I won't! I have options and I plan on exercising them to the extreme. I have been sitting back and playing it safe. Well fuck that couch. It hasn't done squat for me so far so there is no reason to keep it up anymore.

It is time to become dangerous and do dangerous things.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Whirwind

Hail and well met

Well it has been a LONG time since my last post. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Between getting ready for loth and then going to preparing for the bachelor party that took place over the weekend not to mention trying to get my shit organized so I can move out in a couple of weeks. I have been going crazy. No literally I have been really losing it. Part of me thinks that I am not ready for moving out and as of late I have started to agree. I have so much stuff to do and every time I start to do it I get exhausted and tired. In some respects it feels like depression and others are something I am not familiar with at all.

Meh what does it matter.

Well speaking of loth I have to say it was AMAZING!!!! I love that place and look forward to going again soon. Everything about it just allows me to feel better about everything. I know I slept better then I have in a while. I did not make it down to the creek this time but next time for sure. I bought a sarong (not sure of the spelling but the computer is not correcting me so maybe I got it right) which is a common garment from south Asia, most notably from Malay. It is a simple rectangle of cloth that is tied at the waist and can be viewed as a skirt of sorts although it is worn by both men and women. It is quite comfortable and very easy to keep clean. I think I will be wearing them quite a lot in the future.

I haven't had the time to speak with anyone since Friday so I hope the rest of the weekend went well. It was ok here. I got home late Friday night and got right to bed to prepare to work on Saturday. That was ok but I was totally exhausted by the time I got home. I ended up falling in and out of consciousness until I finally crashed into the bed around midnight. Then got up and went over the P's house (still hard not to call it home) to get packed for the trip out to my friend Joe's house for the bachelor party. It was a blast. Got to see almost the whole group from the old days and catch up. I would go into details but what happens at bachelor parties must stay at bachelor parties. It is a law I think and I would not want to be guilty of breaking the law. Nope it is not good for business for a super hero to go around breaking the law. Suffice it to say that everyone had a blast. Oh and in case you were wondering...NO we did not have stripers or porn or any of the usual sex related stuff that goes on at bachelor parties. We gamed and talked and drank which about covers the majority of the events of the evening.

Well the party ended on Monday morning cause we had to vacate the lodge we were staying in. I rolled back into new Matt-cave somewhere around 1pm Monday and pretty much crashed into the couch then the bed and just recuperated from the last 6 days.

For all those that may have been looking for me I apologize for not communicating. I have been so tired I have not had the energy to call anyone back. I know I missed Nick this weekend but it could not be helped.

As far as everything else is concerned it is what it is.

I don't know what to think anymore about anything. I just feel so blah about everything. I start getting worked up about something and then BLAM it just crashes big time and I lose all enthusiasm. I do know that the weather is partially to blame cause I HATE hot weather. Warm is not bad but HOT sucks not to mention the humidity. I just hate sweating and being sticky.

Gahhh enough of the bitching and belly aching. I have better things to do.

I will see everyone wednesday for War Machine. I may not play this week due the fact that I am going to be working on my stuff tomorrow but I do want to show up. I have found a shit ton of stuff for making scenery and want to see it go to good use. So I plan on bringing all of it I can and seeing if Val thinks it can be used and when it can be made cause I don't plan on keeping it unless it is used soon.

Ok well I am done typing for now. I will talk to type to all real soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Grand Trip

Hail and well met

This post is a long time in coming but that could not be helped. I am currently sitting in front of my friends computer in what will soon by my domicile. I am so tired lately but I figured out why. I have been trying to do everything right now, move in, pack to move in, watch the house, prep for Loth, pack for Loth, and a host of other things. I realized today that I cannot do all of these things all at the same time since most of them are exclusive things. So I have decided to stop trying and pick one then another and another until they are done, making sure to do them in an order that is concurrent with the coming events. So the trying to move in will have to wait until I have packed to move in, the watching the house must take precedent over packing (since I am here not at the Parents house) and most importantly I must prepare for Loth since I am leaving on Wednesday...OMG THAT IS ONLY TWO DAYS AWAY!!!!!!!!


What the heck am I doing on this computer I have so much to get done! Sorry to be abrupt but I have to get to work. See all as time permits.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the nature of change

Hail and well met

Man when things decide to get strange they don't do it half assed do they. I have had things turned upside down and sideways in the last 3 days. In many ways I am still reeling from the situation. I don't want to go into the details yet cause they are delicate and personal on an extreme level.

I am just saying this cause it is going to really affect me. I may be out of it for a couple of weeks. So if I seem lost or crazy just mention it and I will do what I can do to refocus on what is going on.

Oh and no I don't have some crazy illness nor does anyone in my family.

Later all

Matt-Man on Movies

Hail and well met

Ok so as I take yet another break from packing my life away I find that there is a subject that I have been lacks on. That is the subject of a particular movie that went unoticed by myself and others. It slipped under the radar, hell it has super stealth technology. The movie of which I speak is called "FANBOYS".

I will not even try and explain it to you all I can do is lead you to the water of life but you have to decide to jump in an drink. Here a some links and if you are in the area let me know cause I have a movie with the trailer on it. Hell if you know anyone with "Pulse" the American release it is the first trailer on the film.

Here is the IMDB entry and here is one of the only places I have found the trailer online

So that is all the time I have for now. Have to get back to packing my life away.

See all as time permits.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Task of Packing

Hail and well met

Today is the first day that I am starting to gather all of my stuff and get it ready for the impending move. Now I know that I have had many years to accumulate stuff but I never really realized how much stuff I have laying around here collecting dust until now.

Wow there is so much stuff that I have to muck through. Stuff that I haven't touched or looked at for years. Part of me wants to keep it and try and finish it but another says "Hey you are never going to get to it, so get rid of it and lighten the load". So now I have to decided the criteria for either keeping or tossing stuff. I suppose I knew deep down it was going to come to this but just didn't want to except it.

Anyway right now I am taking a break cause it is hard going through all of it. There are a lot of memories tied to some of that stuff and at times it is like swatting at flies while I am trying to work. Never the less I have to get it done. I figure I will be selling some of it so it can go to good use somewhere.

Other then that I am doing quite well. Hoping to see Spiderman 3 tomorrow with Mikey. I don't know what it is but I know I have been waiting for this film but it ain't crucial. Some films I want to run out and see right away but not this one. In fact I have to say that there are no films right now that I am really excited about.

I am set for going to Lothlorien and will have my registration in later today. I will also be sending out the reply to the wedding invitation for Joe and Allison's wedding on the 16th of June. Also good to go for the bachelor party. It should be good times all around.

Everyone is getting ready for the summer return of the 37 inch gamers. I have to get cracking on the story for the super hero game I am running. Funny how time flies by when you have stuff to do.

All in all things are good. Some feeling of pause with the move coming though. I guess it is normal with a change of this magnitude. Transition is the word I am looking for. I am in a transitional phase and it requires some patience as it takes form and effect.

Not much more to say right now. Will talk or type to everyone soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

A Matt-Man for all seasons

Hail and well met

Once again I sit here in front of the computer typing into it letting anyone and everyone out there what is going on in my life.

And why not? I think my life is interesting on many levels so why shouldn't you want to read what is going on? Well for the laughs for one.

Anyway to the point. I have to thank the Creator for smiling down on me. First of all I have the most amazing woman in my life. We talked this past weekend and have decided to work through my stupidity. I thank you sweetie! I really love her and I know it. I only hope that one day I am worthy of having her in my life.

On the other point of my past post. Well I have spoken to a friend of mine and it appears that I will be moving out of here and in with him. When is up in the air right now but the way things seem to be going it will be sooner then later. But that is just a guess as things are still in motion and the future is hard to read.

I am doing ok and things are moving forward on many levels just not as fast as I would like (like that is new? RIGHT) I have some new prospects and plan on going with the flow and seeing where it takes me.

I have to run now as it is time for me to hit the hay as I work tomorrow. I will post again soon.

Until then true believers!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man trips on his cape

Hail and well met

Things have gone down hill as of late. I won't go into details just yet as some things have yet to be resolved and as such I don't feel comfortable revealing anything just yet.

First of all I screwed up with Terri. It is all my doing. Things are strained between us right now but I am praying we can come out of this stronger then we ever were before. Of course there is the other possibility which I don't wish to talk about but think about every night, which makes sleeping rather hard. I just feel so stupid. I have broken something that was perfect and complete. There is no turning back or fixing it, all that I can pray for is that what was sundered by my act can be
reforged.

Secondly my father decided to let me know that the family is in rather tight financial trouble. That means that I will have to do some quick thinking before things really the fan. That also has been weighing heavy on my mind.

Again I won't go into details more then I have said here, at least not until things get a little more resolved. But as you can guess not the best formula for a good nights sleep nor a good field to cultivate a positive mind set.

I ain't getting down or depressed. Fuck that noise! That will only make the things I fear come to pass. So take that fears and go bug someone else.

We all should never forget that we are the creation of the Creator, Maker, All-Father , Universe or whatever you call it. He don't make things that are flawed or weak and powerless. So all the power we need is within us. That means that there is nothing that any of us can't face and overcome. In other words we are invincible!

So to the world I say bring it on! Cause I am just in the mood to kick some fucking ass! (sorry for all the swearing but it seems appropriate to the situation and mood)

That being said it has taken its toll on my mood and mind so if I seem a little withdrawn or more quiet the usual (if that is even possible) you now know why. Feel free to ask me about it if you like but don't expect a moping, whining, rant. Nope none of that crap from me. I may wane melancholy and a bit morbid but not beaten or defeated cause I am INVINCIBLE! I still feel pain and I suffer for my stupidity but it can only make me stronger.

So I endure. I continue. I plod forward along my blind path to God knows where.
Won't you join me for a stumble?

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

I AM INVINCIBLE!

Matt-Man behind the counter again

Hail and well met

Have to make this quick. Mr.S the current owner of GO Games had surgery on his knee. He was in a lot of pain so he called for help and Matt-Man answered. So here I am behind the counter again, it feels so weird. Not the same as if I ran the place but it does bring back memories.

So the short of it is that I here during the Magic tournament and no Iron Kingdoms...not sure that this was a good idea, but it was the right thing to do.

May the Force be with you...wait what do you need it for I am the one facing down dozens of crazy magic players. May the Force be with me

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Something

Hail and well met

Yeah it has been kinda strange as of late. Not really sure what is up in the mind and heart of Matt-Man but it is out of whack. At first I thought I was getting depressed but I know what that feels like and it ain't like that. It could be apathy but I want to figure it out and either accept it or deal with it so I don't buy into that one either.

Here is what is going on. I have the thoughts about making my games and other stuff but find that when I try and work on them I lose all energy. I mean it really drains me to even try and work on them for even a little bit. It has gotten to the point that I can almost put myself to sleep working on them for too long.

What is up with that? It is starting to affect my mind set as I almost want to avoid working on them because of the way I feel when I do. But believe me when I say that my thoughts and desires are strong and I won't let go of this so easily.

Is most confusing.

Well other then that little problem everything is going well. I trained on a new route this week so I can be of more use to the office. Which would mean more hours except that I learned that they just hired new RCA substitutes which will give us a full compliment and leave no route uncovered. That could drastically reduce my hours which is a REAL bad thing. All that said I know the life expectancy of more RCA's in that office and it should prove interesting to see how long it takes for the first one to walk.

Yeah have to say that things have been strange for me as of late. Not sure that I am dealing with it well but I am dealing with it. Sometimes you just have to say "Fuck the bullshit, where's the Hostess?" (the snack cake brand not a female host). Yeah there is a quote from my heady days of youth. Remembering those as of late. Not missing them or pining for them just remembering them. Was I ever that young?

Hey James, don't know if you make it around this blog anymore but if you do, what was I talking about and why? I cannot for the life of me remember. Maybe I will drop you a line and ask.

Oh on a side note saw two movies as of late.

The first is Grindhouse. That movie was FUCKING AWESOME!!! I loved every minute of it and am looking forward to seeing it again at least two or three more times. Yeah I cannot even begin to explain how it was awesome just take my word for it and go see it if you haven't already. If you have then see it again and call me when you do. Now that said I should state that it is no drama or serious piece of cinimatic art. But it does capture the feel of the 70's bad double feature but delivers it with the panache of Tarintino and Rodriguez action and dialog. The trailers in the begining and the middle were amazing, funny and totally over the top. I cannot say enough about the film.

The second is TMNT the new movie. I had heard from some friends that saw it that it sucked. Well I have to put my two cents in. No it did not suck. Did it follow the preconceived notion of where the turtles and April would be in the future? No. Did it try and cover two much ground whilst reliving the same inner struggle that exists in between the 4 ninja? Maybe. Did it leave information out that would have answered all the questions I have raised? Yes.

But the most important question that needs to be asked is: Did the movie feel like a comic book? Yes it did. I have many of the turtles original comic compilations as well as issue #2 in great condition. I have recently read some of them and to tell you the truth it felt like watching a issue of the comic book.

Ok I will say that Casey seemed a little pussy whipped, but lets face it most hard core guys end up that way when they find a woman. Oh and April being a bad ass? Come on after dealing with Shredder, the mousers (not in the movies but in the comic books, alien invasions and the advent of supernatural creatures every other week one is bound to feel the need to 1) get out of a job that has you running into those situations when you should run out and 2) develop those survival skills needed in such situations. As far as being like Tomb Raider I have to admit that they did little to properly explain that. Although it could be noted that with her investigation skills it would be a good lead into a job of finding what people want, not just 3000 year old statues.

All in all I enjoyed the movie and hope they do make more. Maybe they could go back and fix the ASS LOAD of problems with the first two movies (No do not mention that there was more then two films, cause to any TMNT fan there was not, the second one was bad enough). I personally would like to see the Triceritons and the T.G.R.I aliens story lines.

Well enough of my rambling. I must get ready for the rest of the day.

May the Force be with you.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man ugrades the page

Hail and well met

Not much time to type but just wanted to say HEY.

HEY!

I made some changes and added a news bar on the side. I will add keywords as I think of them, if you have any suggestions please feel free to comment. I like the color scheme but I still think it needs some tweaking.

Well the only other thing is what I found the first time I hit Star Wars on the news bar.

One Man Star Wars

Take a look. It sounds interesting enough to make me want to take a trip to Australia just to see it.

Well off to the races.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

It is not Matt-Man vs the Mail Man, Matt-Man is the Mail Man

Hail and well met

Well much has happened since I last posted. First of all you should wonder why I am back typing on my computer when I am supposed to be in Carbondale. Well that is the crux of this post so I will get to it.

First of all the trip down was boring as usual. I left around 12:30-1ish and arrived around 5:30. Went to Joe's place for a minute before we headed off to role play where I got to play a cameo as a multi personality rogue. It was a blast and I had a lot of fun. Then we broke early so Josh could get to bed for work in the morning.

Nicky took me back to Chris's apartment where I would be staying. It was a nice apartment with ample space to live in, I was impressed. The guys (Nick and Joe) were cool and I appreciated their hospitality. I mean Chris had to put up with me cause Nicky would probably have gotten upset (I kid I am a kidder). No all of them showed me kindness that I was starting to think was absent from the world on a whole. Anyway the next day I was left to fend for myself, with the only hitch being I was sequestered in the apartment building since no one (Nicky) left me a key. No biggie I made my self busy by reading some stuff and then doing some cleaning, mostly vacuuming the floor and the dishes. Then I watched some West Wing, AMAZING show. Anyway had a good day and went to bed with the idea that Joe would have his paper/presentation finished and we could spend the day together.

Woke up and as habit checked my phone. First mistake (if you care to look at it like that). There was a phone call from Crete. I cringed and had to make a split second decision. I could have ignored the call and just gone about my day (really tempting but there was the possibility that I could lose my job for such an action) or I could do the responsible thing and call back.

Damn my ethics cause I called.

Yup I had to come in to work. Which meant I had to pack and run right then and there. I was somewhat pissed (although I must admit now that as I look back at it I was more acting pissed then really being pissed, the word that best fits my feeling is disappointed) So ran upstairs to the room packed my stuff (forgetting my phone charger damnit) and made a mad dash for Crete.

So here I sit typing and really not pissed off at all. Everything happens for a reason and I think I am starting to really live by that mantra. I had to come back up here for something. Don't know and really don't care. The universe is quite capable of taking care of itself so if whatever it is didn't happen don't blame me.

Well I am going to jump off line, call Terri, change my clothes and head over to the gym. Then grab some lunch and go to the loft and paint. Maybe see a movie tonight or maybe not. Who knows I don't.

May the Force be with you


Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Long Walk

Err I mean drive.

Hail and well met!

Yeah I am getting the final things put in order so I can head out of here tomorrow to Carbondale to see everyone.

Not much to say. Had an amazing weekend at Terri's (well except for Grizzly barking all of last night keeping me up). Yeah apparently her neighbors kids or friends of theirs or evil henchmen of some new megalomaniac super villian have been sneaking around her house for nefarious reasons and agitating Grizzly. It made for an interesting evening and a very long day.

Other then that not much to report. The gig is the gig. I am well and healthy. Yup not a whole lot new.

So enough of typing for the sake of typing I will talk to all sooner or later. Love to all of you.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man VS.The Darkness

Darkness comes
Darkness spreads
Darkness lives
Darkness grows
All those that face it find only dread
Why it is so powerful no one knows
That is the way it has always been is what they say
but I don't believe it is that way
It only get stronger if we fail
To shine as bright as we can
not flicker pale.
So do not despair
and your hope do not loose
Raise you spirit up and the light you must choose.

Hail and well met

Well not the best of my compositions but it just seemed to roll out. I have been combating the darkness of late. Yeah like you couldn't figure that out by my lack of postings. Seems that I don't want to dump my self endulgent crap here anymore. Besides all it does is fuel it.

What I need is a fresh perspective. I have to give the creator a chance to give me his message and direction. I have found the source of this chance and I will endeavor to avail myself of it.

All in all life is going well. Work is going good, in fact they allowed me to take off to Carbondale next week as I had hoped to. Well almost, I didn't get Saturday off but with the loss of regulars and lack of subs it was impossible to cover all routes. Which is something I can understand. That may be why they like me so much over there. I am not selfishly looking out for my interests only, but seeking to co-exist with them and in the process getting what we all want.

Terri is as amazing as always. I love her so much that it hurts sometimes. I am going to see her this weekend. In fact it is going to be a busy week for me. Leave Saturday for Terri's, stay there till Monday then coming home doing washings and packing. Then Tuesday off to Carbondale till Friday when it is back here to work on Saturday. Wow it is quite overwhelming when you look at it like that.

But I need to get away (yeah who doesn't).

I am looking forward to the refreshing of the spirit and mind by spending time with good friends in good places making for good times. The only thing missing will be Terri. God I wish she could go with. Oh well we will have to see about the wedding.

Hmmm that about wraps it up for me right now. I will hopefully see everyone in the next couple of weeks.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and The Trans Axle of Destiniy

Hail and well met

Five days have passed since I last posted and to be honest I just haven't known what to post about. Well that and I have been working so much that by the time I could post I was so tired that I couldn't form a complete sentence if I tried.

Well current events are a good place to start. Work is going FINE (as in fucked up insecure neurotic and emotional). Now that is not to say that I am feeling FINE cause I am not, no it is the rest of that office that needs a good healthy dose of reality.

In the gruff voice of a man that has smoked filter-less cigarettes since he was 2 years old

In a world were drama runs rampant only one thing can relieve the pain and annoyance.

Take a dose of reality, the anti-drama.

Warning : side effects include situations that are really drama and not make believe including but not exclusive to: pregnancy, love, hate, loss of job, loss of significant other, possible loss of job and other real life shit.

voice fades away

Yup I find it rather funny when I am not there to think of all the childish shit that is going on. As I usually do I tried to not fall into the rumors believing them to be the total truth, cause they never really are most of the time. Well in this case they are closer then most but there are a lot of other problems in that office.

The biggest is the other carriers. So many of them are of the opinion (which I have found to be common among union workers that have lost the perspective of reality) that things are their right, when in fact those things are a privilege. Something that has to be earned and maintained. Now based on this misconception they run around with expectations that are impossible in the real world and as such they end up being pissed off all the time or close to it. So every day that I am there I get to listen to the latest rant on how things are not right or fair or whatever.

Get over it and do the damn job! I mean for me the reality is still less then a year away. Being unemployed, broke, worthless (well in the eyes of the world, stupid world)all of these things were all too real and the pain that went with them. Apparently they don't remember or have never felt them.

I guess the other biggest thing is that I just don't understand the mentality of "I really don't like my job at all but instead of doing one damn thing about it I am just going to do it badly and bitch about it".

Just realize that you have the power to change things if you want but that choice is fraught with difficulty cause change is never easy. It is often worth the effort though.
If you choose to not change things then accept you choice and do what needs to be done. You will find that life is more enjoyable and things smooth out when you accept those things you choose not to change.

Again it is not easy to change but don't bitch about that fact. That is like bitching about the fact that you will get a sunburn if you stay out in the sun with out taking precautions.

Will this change my plans for the future? Well maybe a little. I like the area and the routes are not bad. I really prefer the true rural routes to those that are more in the suburbs. Which makes the future a interesting place cause if I plan on moving in with Terri in some form or another I have to find a place that fills my needs.

Well this rant has gone on long enough. It seems that I got away from current events and indulged in a soapbox rant.

I will just have to post again sooner then later so I can get everything updated.

There is just one thing that needs saying...

300 IS AN AMAZING MOVIE!!!!!
GO SEE IT IF YOU HAVEN'T YET...
HECK GO SEE IT AGAIN IF YOU HAVE!!!



WHY AM I SCREAMING LIKE SAMUAL JACKSON?!

a terrible grin crosses his face and his eyes get shifty

I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE!

Sorry I just couldn't resist. Still haven't seen that film...yet!

Ok that is all for now.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Phantom Post

Hail and well met

Well I thought I had posted on Saturday whilst at the loft...but it appears that I am mistaken cause there is not such post anywhere here. Well no biggie just hoping that this one makes it.

Truthfully I don't have much to post about. Saturday was awesome. Nicky had fun getting well her 21st birthday on. Drinks flowed free for all. Fun was had by all.

I broke away from the party around 12ish and headed over to Terri's. We grabbed some sleep and got up in time to head over to her parents for Corned beef and cabbage (love corn beef but not so much the cabbage cuz it gives me gas)Then off to the game it was. The Wolves won, YEAH. I was worried because it was looking that I was bad luck. Every game I have gone to with the exception of last night they had lost. But that is all behind me.

Then we headed back to her house and I grabbed a nap while she made dinner. Then it was goodbyes and tears and I was back on my down here. Yeah it was a lot of driving but she is more then worth it.

So now I sit here typing and as soon as this is done I am heading over to Lansing to hang out. Tomorrow will be more of the same. Yeah not the most exciting life but then again that can get annoying.

I love you Terri!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man does a BoneHead Manuver but Terri Belle steps in to save the day

Hail and well met

It is a long title but it is appropriate to the situation. I am referring to this weekends festivities.

You see I managed to get my head wrapped around something that someone said and of course the dread captain Oblivious stepped in and blinded me the complete picture.

In a nutshell someone mentioned your birthday and celebrating it last weekend, which of course was not possible cause you weren't here. So logically I should have filed that under things to come and stamped this weekend with a question mark. Nope I filed it under things that have happened or things that didn't happen and moved on. Well that means that all this work to get everyone up to see Khaos Theory and Terri has been counter productive to everyone partying with Nicky for her birthday. When I finally kicked oblivious out of my office and looked at things I felt rather crappy.

Now of course everyone is going to say it is ok, no harm no foul (well most of you...some? Thank you sir in the back I appre...Oh the bathroom is the second on the right). Nicky I am sorry for forgetting about your birthday celebration.

I mean it is your 21st and you only get one of those.

Well Terri and I talked. I love that woman so much. I was ready to go up and see the band with just her and then she blind sides me. And I wanted to cause I said I would and the band kicks ass and all that jazz, but down deep I was going to be pissed that I missed your party. She told me to stay down here and celebrate, that seeing her is important and so is seeing my friends. She is the one that said the line "you only get one 21st birthday". She is so amazing. I just wish she was able to come down here.

So Nicky if you will have me at your celebration I would like to come.

What can I say I am love struck. She blinded me with ...well we will leave that blank for now (don't want to get slapped).

No it is all my doing. Not a biggie but if I don't nip it in the bud it will blossom into a damn lemon tree. don't need anymore of those.

Ok well that is all I really have time for now I will talk to everyone later, some in person some in print and some by the powers of my mind!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man..Who Else?

Hail and well met


Had to share that one with everyone.

Ok someone asked me when the show is Saturday. It is around 10 in the evening and there are three bands playing. So it is going to be a late night for anyone coming out. Still haven't gotten a solid price so figure around 10 dollars should make sure you are covered (again I can spot if needed)It is at a bar..Oh wait that shouldn't be a problem anymore, YIPPEEE!

Ok well not much else to report. I need to get my ass in gear on several things so I can move forward. I cannot just sit here wasting time (no I am not referring to doing this blog either it is important).

I can be successful
I will be successful
I am successful.

I am siting behind my desk in my office of my game company. I am rolling in money and things are amazing. I have the car of my dreams (1969 GTO with the paint from XXX) and I have a fully full on relationship with Terri.

Oh that? That is just an exercise in visualizing what I want and where I am going to be. Long story short it is putting the form to the universe so it can take shape in the future (not as far off as you would think). I mean what good is it to be a super hero if you don't flex those powers once and a while.

Consider it a discipline of the mind which puts the spirit over it. Cause to my mind I am nowhere near that vision, but I do believe it and will act on it every day. How does Qui Gon Jin put it in Episode 1.

"Your focus determines you reality."

That is either a exact quote or a close proximity.

Oh yes I am still on that path as well. Kind of funny how they seem to work so well together. Never would have thought it was possible but they dove tail rather well.

OK so that is about it for now. I have to go and take of some things.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man finally gets conected

Hail and well met

Well it took almost an half an hour to get blogger up and running. I just love dial up. Well not much to report on as of right now.

Gamed over the weekend and it was fantastic. Friday saw the long awaited return of Iron Kingdoms and Saturday Quinlan made his return to Grey company lite.

Sunday Todd and myself went to see "Pan's Labyrinth". To put it in words I was stunned. I was expecting a good movie not a life experience. To simply say it was good would be a disservice to the movie. I will probably see it when it comes out on DVD so I can stop it and really get a good look at the sets and costumes. I also look forward to the commentary from Guillermo del Toro. It was moving and deep and rich, there are just not words that really do it justice. So to say it was worth going to see is an understatement. If you haven't seen it and you have the chance. do it. Just be ready for a heavy movie experience.

Well this weekend I am heading up to see Terri via Ye Olde Town Inn for a Khaos Theory show. We are going to meet there and head up after the show. Val and Mel are going as well (Yippieee) as well some of the other 37 inch gamers. If you are interested let me know. I believe it is a 6 or 7 dollar show (if that is a problem I should be able to cover a couple of people). To make a day of it I am planning on going up earlier to stop at Games Plus (a real kick ass game store just across the tracks from the venue). Again anyone interested let me know and we will go from there.

Not much else to report. Working a lot of hours which is a good thing. Just have to make sure to make the time to work on all the things that need to be done.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is FINE on Route 9

Hail and well met

Well as you can see I haven't posted in awhile. It has been quite hectic around the Matt-cave lately. Mostly it has been working. With the passing of one of the regulars and recent sickness and family troubles around the office I have had to step up. Specifically I have had to learn another route. That is the route mentioned in the title, route 9.

It is roughly the same size as route 7, maybe a smidge bigger. The driving is a bit longer in my opinion but that probably just me. None of which is a big deal, the problem was/is that I got blind sided with it. When I came into work Tuesday I was supposed to work on 10(the baby route)but as I was walking in Laura (my supervisor) stopped me first of all to inform me that route 10 starts at 9:00 not 7:00 like the rest of the routes. This was the first annoyance since I don't feel like waiting around the house for 2 more hours and trying to sleep the extra won't happen. Not to mention that I still don't have the route mastered so the extra time helps me get out and back at a decent time. But I digress from the subject.

Then she tells me to start casing on 9, no explanation other then I will be taking some of it out. So over I go and start working the mail. Well of course I am hunting and pecking since I don't have a clue of the layout for the cases. Then after an hour or two I learn I am taking the whole thing out, this after seeing the 7 trays of mail for the route. I freaked just a little.

So after working my self into a basket weaving class (meaning crazed frenzy and thus needing time at the house of white coats) I hit the road, around 1ish. Of course I am sweating it cause the truck comes at 5 o'clock and if it leave I am making the trip up to Bedford Park with the mail.

Now I have been rather humble of my skills but I cannot avoid the truth that I ran the route in good time, just over 3 and a half hours. So I made it back before the deadline. I was so relieved.

Today I ran it again and with a little help from Laura (that supervisor person again) I was on the road by 11:45 and back in the office by 3:00 (that is 3 hours and 15 minutes for those the don't want to do the math). Now I have not looked to see what the evaluated time on the road is but I know that I am not that far off. I am getting good at this. YEAH for me!

So again I run route 9 tomorrow. I hope to beat my time from today but breaking even will be fine as well.

Ok enough of that and on to other things. I am not sure which day was the last that I posted but it doesn't matter. This Friday Iron Kingdoms is happening at Val's. He is running Mel to Michigan and back so it won't happen until he gets back but it is happening.

Also I am sending out the call. MATT-FRIENDS ASSEMBLE! That band that Terri knows (Khaos Theory is playing at Ye Old Town Inn on March 10th. Everyone is invited albeit they will need to provide their own transportation cause I am going up to her place after the show. The details are on the Khaos Theory My Space page as well as here.


Khaos Theory

March, 10 2007 at Ye Olde Town Inn
18 W. Busse Ave, Mount Prospect, Illinois
Cost : (no price is listed so I don't know if it is free or they didn't post the cost but don't let that stop you from coming cause I am willing to cover anyone that wants to come)

Also it is good to note that this is located literally across the tracks from Games Plus, a kick ass game store. So I was thinking of heading out a little earlier and stop on in and pa ruse the goods. Again anyone that is interested is welcome to come along for that as well.

Just leave me a note letting me know what is up and we and communicate from their. Well I have to get up so...


May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!