Matt-man VS. Insomnia

Hail and well met.....At 3:20 in the freaking morning

I should be asleep. I really need to be rested for tomorrow. But I just laid there looking into the blackness of my room. No matter how I tried I just couldn't seem to fall into slumber.

So instead I decided to get up and post something.

I guess that I am both excited and scared. If this works out then I can start getting things going in my life. Not that I wasn't before but there are just some things that hope and desire cannot do, like pay bills. I don't want to sit here and put all my eggs in one basket but if this doesn't happen then I have no other prospects, at least not here. I cannot survive on a $8.00 an hour job. Not anymore. At least not here.

So what does that mean?

Well if this doesn't happen then when I go to Carbondale I will be looking into work and housing. I don't want to move completely but if I have no other options then so be it. I guess when I wished for change I was setting myself up for a fall. What is that adage?

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Yeah in spades.

But then again I am not going to walk into this figuring that I am going to fail. That was the old me, the one that would not fight for anything cause I could just blame that voice and forget it. Nope I have to take the blame if I blow it. Again I am not going to walk into this expecting to fail.

Nothing is impossible with the Force.

There is no fear; there is understanding
There is no anger; there is self-control
There is no pain; there is growth
There is no failure; there is experience
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge
There is no ego; there is fellowship
There is no confusion; there is direction
There is no indecision; there is focus
There is no death; there is the Force

Oh you thought that I had forgotten my path? Nope it is still there and I am walking it everyday. I will be a Jedi, a new Jedi. And I know that one day I will teach these things to someone ( I would love it to be a son or daughter..Or both)

I am going to see this through. I am going to succeed. One way or the other there is no way but up.

Further up and further in. (a quote from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis.....READ A BOOK)

Well it is 4 now and I guess that I feel a little tired so I am off to sleep(hopefully) perchance to dream(oh God I hope not).

I will probably call everyone with an update when I find out what the verdict is.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!