Hail and well met
This is a post in the interim between me getting my room fixed up and my computer getting fixed. And I have a load to cover so lets get started.
First of all I have to comment on the Hand-fasting. It was the most beautiful ceremony/ritual that I have had the pleasure to see let alone be apart in. Mel's dress was perfect. Val was dashing. The weather was comfortable. The fellowship was strong. I cannot say enough about it. The vows spoken between them was moving in a way that still stirs me when I think about it. Ok I have to also say that getting a sword was pretty cool but it pales in comparison to the beauty of the moment. At least it serve as a constant reminder of that day.
Now I will talk about Lothlorian. I had no idea that a place like it existed in this world. It is a place of peace and power. I know that I have not spoken about my walk as a Jedi in awhile and I am sure that some of you had hoped that I had quit that childish shit. TOO BAD. If I have ever been in a place that made me feel closer to the Force I cannot think of it. It was settling for my sport and healing for my soul. Not that it was in bad shape but it still had wounds from years ago. I had accepted them and just learned to deal with the pain or numbness. But enough about me.
The land itself is raw and unfinished. The people are friendly and open. It is a place I could spend many a day just communing with many things. I know that many pagans call it home away from home but I hope they can deal with a non-pagan making regular trips cause I am definitely signing up and going back. I have never slept so well nor drempt so strongly before. Even with being on the ground I didn't feel on tich of stiffness or soreness. Of couse getting to sleep the second night was more difficult then the first. Damn forest noises...;)
I have heard that it is difficult going back to the "mundane" world after being there. I must be dumb or out of touch cause I didn't feel any different then I did. Maybe I am not really getting it, or maybe I already felt the "mundane" world before I arrived so it was just going back to what I am accustom to. Who knows. I do understand the concept of not being able to talk about things like you could there. Hell I have that here with my living conditions. Do you think for one minute that I could ever tell my P's that I am walking the path of the Jedi? OH HELL NO! Can you say intervention? Cause I would be in one faster then a zealot can burn a book...wait wasn't that the Nazi's? Oh yeah that is right they both do it, the zealots just claim that their God told them to do it while the Nazi's said Hitler told them to do it.
Why can't we all just take responsibility for our stupidity and stop trying to blame someone or something else? Oh well I ain't going to start on that rant right now. Too much else to talk about.
So I am back here in the burbs. I haven't seen my lady in FAR too long. That will be fixed this weekend Friday when I see her after the party at Jen's. Then we have the party Saturday and all day Sunday to be together. With breaks to eat and talk and stuff :) I am so bad. But seriously I will be spending some quality time with her. I was planning on heading back home Tuesday with a lunch stop at her office but there is a snag...
I have a second interview with the Crete Post Office!!!!!!!!!!! Oh hell yes!
I know I shouldn't get my hopes but believe me I have a sixth sense about things and I know that I am going to work for the Post Office, it is just a matter of being patient.
So how do I feel right now? Well frustrated is a good place to start. You see I was working on a special project for Terri for her birthday. Well lets just say it fell apart in my hands just over an hour ago. I am not giving up but there is no way that I can hope to finish it by Saturday. It is just a matter of time and there is not enough of it right now. Things take time to dry and harden so it will have to wait. I wanted to have it all done for this weekend but I will have to settle for giving her what I have done so far. Oh well it happens. I will finish it and give it to her later. (oh darn I will have to see her again...Yeah what a shame:)
That is what is up. I know that I am missing stuff but it will have to wait until I have a chance to entangle the thoughts from my head. I know that some are having a difficult time out there, don't hesitate to call me any hour of the day or night. My cell is currently out of time but it works great as a pager and I will call back. My ear is available and my heart is open.
Ok well that is it I am out of here for now.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Matt-Man 's a Pirate Matey ARRRR!!!
Hail and well met ARRRR!
Well it be talk like a pirate day me hardy. So here there be pirate talk ARRRR!
It also be the day one fine lass was put apon this here earth. That be Terri Miller ARRR!
So happy Birthday LOVE ARRRR!
And before I be forgetting it here is what my pirate monicker would be if I had one
My pirate name is:
Iron James Rackham
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network
So it be matey. I expects to be see all of ya when ye make port in Lake Villa at the fine establishment of Terri Miller. Don't be late or we'll keelhaul ya ARRRR!
So may the Force be with ye ARRRR!
Excelsior!!!
Well it be talk like a pirate day me hardy. So here there be pirate talk ARRRR!
It also be the day one fine lass was put apon this here earth. That be Terri Miller ARRR!
So happy Birthday LOVE ARRRR!
And before I be forgetting it here is what my pirate monicker would be if I had one
My pirate name is:
Iron James Rackham
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network
So it be matey. I expects to be see all of ya when ye make port in Lake Villa at the fine establishment of Terri Miller. Don't be late or we'll keelhaul ya ARRRR!
So may the Force be with ye ARRRR!
Excelsior!!!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Matt-Man Takes Off!
Hail and well met
Well the time has come. I am all packed and ready to head out once I have done a couple of last minute things. Like shave and shower LOL.
I won't be posting for a couple of days after I get back as I will be tearing my room apart and with that goes the room to run the computer and such. So feel free to call or something but just don't go sending me an important email cause I ain't gonna get it.
I hope to see everyone at the hand fasting and those that I don't know that my thoughts are with you as well.
Oh hell who am I kidding...Terri I am gonna miss you something terrible. I wish that things were different but they are what they are. I am soooo looking forward to next weekend when I get to see you again. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS SO GOOD!!!!
Ok well that is all I have to say right now. No wait don't anyone forget about next weekend either. I expect to at least hear from people if no see them.
Ok now I am done.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well the time has come. I am all packed and ready to head out once I have done a couple of last minute things. Like shave and shower LOL.
I won't be posting for a couple of days after I get back as I will be tearing my room apart and with that goes the room to run the computer and such. So feel free to call or something but just don't go sending me an important email cause I ain't gonna get it.
I hope to see everyone at the hand fasting and those that I don't know that my thoughts are with you as well.
Oh hell who am I kidding...Terri I am gonna miss you something terrible. I wish that things were different but they are what they are. I am soooo looking forward to next weekend when I get to see you again. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS SO GOOD!!!!
Ok well that is all I have to say right now. No wait don't anyone forget about next weekend either. I expect to at least hear from people if no see them.
Ok now I am done.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Matt-Man Ponders
Hail and well met
What am I pondering?
What to ware. Oh yes it is the eleventh hour and I am still not sure what I am going to ware to Val's and Mel's handfasting. Oh I know that I have been told to ware anything but this is special and I want to dress accordingly. I was working on a special piece of clothing but due to time constraints and my rusty sewing skills I was unable to finish.
I don't know. I am struggling with a great many things I guess and this is but the projected crux of my dilemma.
I really want a good job. I want to find a way to be with my most beautiful girlfriend and keep parts of my life down here. I want to make my games a reality that I can sell and hopefully make a career out of. I want a lot of things but nothing seems to be working out in that area of my life. I don't know what I should do or how I should do the things that will make this happen.
Worst of all... I am getting tired, weary. Down right exhausted. My life is becoming more burden then anything else. As I try and use all the wisdom that I have gleaned over the last few years I am avoiding depression but still it is getting difficult to walk the walk everyday.
Something out there is waiting for something from me. Or at least that is what it feels like. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting to find someone there waiting with a briefcase or something. Or walk into a room that I find and there sits someone behind a desk and says "It took you long enough we have been waiting for you to walk through that damn door forever".
Ha for all of this I know that on a shallow level I am stalling from facing the real problem. No it is not some earth shattering revelation it is much simpler then that. It is this question.
What should I ware to Val and Mel's handfasting?
Yup that is all that it is.
Well with the miracle of modern technology I know that it is supposed to be in the mid to upper 70's this Friday and Saturday and lower 80's on Sunday. So warmer but not really shorts weather. So I can pack for this weekend at least.
Oooooooooo I almost forgot while I was whining. Terri took me out to dinner! Yeah it was awesome! We went to this place called Bob Chin's Crab House. It is a really nice place. Mai tai's were amazing and really strong. Mmmmm booze. The dinner was incredible. A whole lobster and a steak with potatoes, wow it was so good. Although cracking the lobster legs and claws was rather difficult and the sound was somewhat disturbing. But with succulent lobster waiting to be consumed WHO CARES HOW IT SOUNDS!
Thanks again beautiful. I loved it and I love you, you sexy beast!
Ok well there is enough time spent stalling so off to pack for this weekend I go.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
What am I pondering?
What to ware. Oh yes it is the eleventh hour and I am still not sure what I am going to ware to Val's and Mel's handfasting. Oh I know that I have been told to ware anything but this is special and I want to dress accordingly. I was working on a special piece of clothing but due to time constraints and my rusty sewing skills I was unable to finish.
I don't know. I am struggling with a great many things I guess and this is but the projected crux of my dilemma.
I really want a good job. I want to find a way to be with my most beautiful girlfriend and keep parts of my life down here. I want to make my games a reality that I can sell and hopefully make a career out of. I want a lot of things but nothing seems to be working out in that area of my life. I don't know what I should do or how I should do the things that will make this happen.
Worst of all... I am getting tired, weary. Down right exhausted. My life is becoming more burden then anything else. As I try and use all the wisdom that I have gleaned over the last few years I am avoiding depression but still it is getting difficult to walk the walk everyday.
Something out there is waiting for something from me. Or at least that is what it feels like. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting to find someone there waiting with a briefcase or something. Or walk into a room that I find and there sits someone behind a desk and says "It took you long enough we have been waiting for you to walk through that damn door forever".
Ha for all of this I know that on a shallow level I am stalling from facing the real problem. No it is not some earth shattering revelation it is much simpler then that. It is this question.
What should I ware to Val and Mel's handfasting?
Yup that is all that it is.
Well with the miracle of modern technology I know that it is supposed to be in the mid to upper 70's this Friday and Saturday and lower 80's on Sunday. So warmer but not really shorts weather. So I can pack for this weekend at least.
Oooooooooo I almost forgot while I was whining. Terri took me out to dinner! Yeah it was awesome! We went to this place called Bob Chin's Crab House. It is a really nice place. Mai tai's were amazing and really strong. Mmmmm booze. The dinner was incredible. A whole lobster and a steak with potatoes, wow it was so good. Although cracking the lobster legs and claws was rather difficult and the sound was somewhat disturbing. But with succulent lobster waiting to be consumed WHO CARES HOW IT SOUNDS!
Thanks again beautiful. I loved it and I love you, you sexy beast!
Ok well there is enough time spent stalling so off to pack for this weekend I go.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Matt-Man Soul Search
Hail and well met
Ok so the titles sounds ominous and something like the old days of my posting. Trust me it is not. A friend had this on their blog and I tried it out. Nothing more or less to it then that. So here is the result...
Ok so on to other things. I am going to be heading to the Handfasting and plan on spending the night. That being said I will need to ride with someone cause the Matt-mobile is not really up to a trip of that magnitude at this moment. Nothing wrong but I ain't tempting fate. So anyone that reads this and is going and is planning on spending the night let me know cause I am willing to ride along. Hell I will even throw some witty banter in the deal. Oh did I mention that I also yodel? No I actually meant help drive. I can also throw some small amount towards gas and I do mean little with the current lack of funds and being unemployed and all. So let me know and I will go from there.
Now onto the following weekend and the party up in Lake Villa. If anyone needs a ride let me know cause I am leaving on that Saturday (probably that is) but here is the catch. I probably won't be leaving until Monday or Tuesday. So if I take you up you are going to need a way back down. The train station is nearby so you could do that. Also if you want to take the train up just let me know when you plan on getting in and I will pick you up. As far as directions are concerned...I am working on them. Both a direct route and a less regular path but one that keeps you off the dreaded 294! Which save you somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 bucks with tolls these days.
Please bring any food and booze (Hmmmmm booze) for the party you feel the need or desire to. Entertainment is also up to you. I posted in my last journal about how musical instruments are welcome as well as any flicks or games you all want to play. Of course there will be carousing and if all is dry a fire in the back yard (barring the state of our drunkenness as well).
If you are drinking then know that you are not driving! Period! Tents in the backyard, two couches, a futon and plenty of floor space are available to sleep it off.
Ok well that is all I have to say for now. I will see all one way or another in the next couple of weeks.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Ok so the titles sounds ominous and something like the old days of my posting. Trust me it is not. A friend had this on their blog and I tried it out. Nothing more or less to it then that. So here is the result...
| You Are a Prophet Soul |
 You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappointment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul |
Ok so on to other things. I am going to be heading to the Handfasting and plan on spending the night. That being said I will need to ride with someone cause the Matt-mobile is not really up to a trip of that magnitude at this moment. Nothing wrong but I ain't tempting fate. So anyone that reads this and is going and is planning on spending the night let me know cause I am willing to ride along. Hell I will even throw some witty banter in the deal. Oh did I mention that I also yodel? No I actually meant help drive. I can also throw some small amount towards gas and I do mean little with the current lack of funds and being unemployed and all. So let me know and I will go from there.
Now onto the following weekend and the party up in Lake Villa. If anyone needs a ride let me know cause I am leaving on that Saturday (probably that is) but here is the catch. I probably won't be leaving until Monday or Tuesday. So if I take you up you are going to need a way back down. The train station is nearby so you could do that. Also if you want to take the train up just let me know when you plan on getting in and I will pick you up. As far as directions are concerned...I am working on them. Both a direct route and a less regular path but one that keeps you off the dreaded 294! Which save you somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 bucks with tolls these days.
Please bring any food and booze (Hmmmmm booze) for the party you feel the need or desire to. Entertainment is also up to you. I posted in my last journal about how musical instruments are welcome as well as any flicks or games you all want to play. Of course there will be carousing and if all is dry a fire in the back yard (barring the state of our drunkenness as well).
If you are drinking then know that you are not driving! Period! Tents in the backyard, two couches, a futon and plenty of floor space are available to sleep it off.
Ok well that is all I have to say for now. I will see all one way or another in the next couple of weeks.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Matt-Man makes it quick
Hail and well met
Ok here it is in a nutshell. This weekend was amazing. I helped my friend Mike move into his absolutely gorgeous house. Man it is a amazing.
I make the trek up to see my beautiful lady Saturday night and am leaving in just a little bit.
The Ren Fair was cool. Ran into my friend Paul and his wife as well as a few friends. That was nice.
Terri got a migraine which sucked. Not so much that we left but that she was out of it and I could sense the amount of pain she was in.
The party for the 23rd is a go. We will have some food but feel free to bring anything you wish. booze is also something you might want to bring and plan on sharing (it is our birthdays after all) entertainment is up to all of you, musical instruments are welcome but not the loud obnoxious kind (Yeah no bag pipes for me...DAMN). Accommodations are available either in the form of the couches, futon or tents in the backyard. The party starts around 7 in the PM and will continue late into the night, or morning and through Sunday if need be. If someone needs help with transportation please feel free to ask me about it, I am going to be making the drive up so I will have some space for passengers. I am also willing to be the lead for a train if needed or can give directions concerning the trains and will pick anyone up that needs it.
And for those that are 400 miles south don't despair plans are in the works for a road tour sometime in the future. So just hold on to all that party animalism until then. More to come on that as information becomes available.
Ok glad this was a short one. See all soon.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Ok here it is in a nutshell. This weekend was amazing. I helped my friend Mike move into his absolutely gorgeous house. Man it is a amazing.
I make the trek up to see my beautiful lady Saturday night and am leaving in just a little bit.
The Ren Fair was cool. Ran into my friend Paul and his wife as well as a few friends. That was nice.
Terri got a migraine which sucked. Not so much that we left but that she was out of it and I could sense the amount of pain she was in.
The party for the 23rd is a go. We will have some food but feel free to bring anything you wish. booze is also something you might want to bring and plan on sharing (it is our birthdays after all) entertainment is up to all of you, musical instruments are welcome but not the loud obnoxious kind (Yeah no bag pipes for me...DAMN). Accommodations are available either in the form of the couches, futon or tents in the backyard. The party starts around 7 in the PM and will continue late into the night, or morning and through Sunday if need be. If someone needs help with transportation please feel free to ask me about it, I am going to be making the drive up so I will have some space for passengers. I am also willing to be the lead for a train if needed or can give directions concerning the trains and will pick anyone up that needs it.
And for those that are 400 miles south don't despair plans are in the works for a road tour sometime in the future. So just hold on to all that party animalism until then. More to come on that as information becomes available.
Ok glad this was a short one. See all soon.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Matt-Man rambles
Hail and well met
Well I have the most wonderful woman in the world loving me. I love her will all that I am, was or ever will be. I want to be with her more and more everyday.
I need a job so bad that it hurts. I am will to clean up shit if I can get paid for it. Come on people! What do I have a disease or something? I cannot even get a crappy place like wal-mart or target to hire me (yes I know they are names and should be capitalized but since they won't hire me FUCK THEM).
So here I sit typing on my laptop, cause I don't even have the ability to fix my own computer. I have to dump it on a guy that is in as bad a place as I am...No worse cause he don't have a good woman to keep him going.
I am not depressed but I as sure as hell am getting just a little tired. I don't know what is going on in the universe. I don't get where I am anymore. And certainly I have no clue what direction I am supposed to be going in cause it appears that I am doing little more then running in circles.
Hey I have my health and my car is running. So all in all I really ain't trying to complain just lay all my snakes in a row. I know that all thing come to those who wait but DAMN!
Terri I love you so much. I will make you proud of me, I promise. You are the number one thing in my life.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok well time for updates. I am home as you can tell. I am heading back up to Terri's Sunday in preparation for our second trip to the Ren Fair on Monday. Anyone is welcome to come along but everything is regular price. Also you might need to arrange for your own rides as I am heading up early.
Next week is going to be full of re-applying to every little shit hole I have already applied at. I only hope this time someone bites or maybe I need to be the one doing the biting? I can see it now..
MAN BITES BOSS!
DOGS CLAIM UNION CONTRACT VIOLATIONS!
Ray Sinaleg member of the local K-905 said that such a thing is just what to expect from the Homo-sapien community. "We have to put up with infractions like this all the time. You would think that "Sapes"(Homo-sapiens) would figure out that WE are the ones with the biting contracts in this city. It just goes against the grain to have some two legger putting the chomp on another one of their kind. If the man in question had just checked at the local office I am sure that we could have hooked him up with a perfect fit for his biting needs. Now those lawyers have to get involved and we all know what cat-tastrophe that is going to be." Mr.Sinaleg also made referance to the mythical "Man Bites Dog" story that keeps circulating. "You see how it starts? Just some mutt trying for a gag and what happens? You get humans biting other humans for real, none of that sex stuff."
So there it is a bit of fun from the mind of a compete mad man...No wait that is supposed to be Matt-Man, yeah right that's the ticket.
OH yes there is one more bit of news.
ON SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 23 AT THE CASA DE TERRI IN LAKE VILLA THE MOST ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY BASH WILL TAKE PLACE. COMBINING THE BEST THAT THE EARTH HAS TO OFFER BOTH MATT AND TERRI WILL BE CELEBRATING THEIR BIRTHDAYS TOGETHER! SO COME ONE COME ALL TO THIS AMAZING EVENT...PLEASE!!!!!
More on this as soon as it is available. If you have any ideas yourself please make them known to Matt & Terri care of this blog or via emails if you have them. Of course calling still works (most of the time when I have minutes to use to answer my damn phone).
Ok well that is all the damage that I can do at this popsicle stand. Catch you later.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well I have the most wonderful woman in the world loving me. I love her will all that I am, was or ever will be. I want to be with her more and more everyday.
I need a job so bad that it hurts. I am will to clean up shit if I can get paid for it. Come on people! What do I have a disease or something? I cannot even get a crappy place like wal-mart or target to hire me (yes I know they are names and should be capitalized but since they won't hire me FUCK THEM).
So here I sit typing on my laptop, cause I don't even have the ability to fix my own computer. I have to dump it on a guy that is in as bad a place as I am...No worse cause he don't have a good woman to keep him going.
I am not depressed but I as sure as hell am getting just a little tired. I don't know what is going on in the universe. I don't get where I am anymore. And certainly I have no clue what direction I am supposed to be going in cause it appears that I am doing little more then running in circles.
Hey I have my health and my car is running. So all in all I really ain't trying to complain just lay all my snakes in a row. I know that all thing come to those who wait but DAMN!
Terri I love you so much. I will make you proud of me, I promise. You are the number one thing in my life.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok well time for updates. I am home as you can tell. I am heading back up to Terri's Sunday in preparation for our second trip to the Ren Fair on Monday. Anyone is welcome to come along but everything is regular price. Also you might need to arrange for your own rides as I am heading up early.
Next week is going to be full of re-applying to every little shit hole I have already applied at. I only hope this time someone bites or maybe I need to be the one doing the biting? I can see it now..
MAN BITES BOSS!
DOGS CLAIM UNION CONTRACT VIOLATIONS!
Ray Sinaleg member of the local K-905 said that such a thing is just what to expect from the Homo-sapien community. "We have to put up with infractions like this all the time. You would think that "Sapes"(Homo-sapiens) would figure out that WE are the ones with the biting contracts in this city. It just goes against the grain to have some two legger putting the chomp on another one of their kind. If the man in question had just checked at the local office I am sure that we could have hooked him up with a perfect fit for his biting needs. Now those lawyers have to get involved and we all know what cat-tastrophe that is going to be." Mr.Sinaleg also made referance to the mythical "Man Bites Dog" story that keeps circulating. "You see how it starts? Just some mutt trying for a gag and what happens? You get humans biting other humans for real, none of that sex stuff."
So there it is a bit of fun from the mind of a compete mad man...No wait that is supposed to be Matt-Man, yeah right that's the ticket.
OH yes there is one more bit of news.
ON SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 23 AT THE CASA DE TERRI IN LAKE VILLA THE MOST ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY BASH WILL TAKE PLACE. COMBINING THE BEST THAT THE EARTH HAS TO OFFER BOTH MATT AND TERRI WILL BE CELEBRATING THEIR BIRTHDAYS TOGETHER! SO COME ONE COME ALL TO THIS AMAZING EVENT...PLEASE!!!!!
More on this as soon as it is available. If you have any ideas yourself please make them known to Matt & Terri care of this blog or via emails if you have them. Of course calling still works (most of the time when I have minutes to use to answer my damn phone).
Ok well that is all the damage that I can do at this popsicle stand. Catch you later.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Matt-Man and Epiphanies and Apologizes
Hail and well met
Well as the title says this post is about two different things. The epiphanies will come later for now it is time to apologize for something.
Ben, Val, Mel, Todd, Tadd, Kelsey and whom ever else is in Fading Suns I apologize for not being there last night. I also apologize for not calling anyone concerning my absence. It has been an difficult time up here, wrestling with issues that pertain to the future and the present. In all honesty even if I had come home I don’t know that I would have played simply because I have a lot to think about.
Firstly the post office has not called or written me. It is obvious that I am not getting hired. I don’t understand why this is but the truth is simply that it is. So when I get back in town I will swallow my pride and my hopes and apply at the retail hives of scum and villainy again. It will be just awesome to be working in retail again for a large company and in doing so be nothing more then a drone. OH JOY! All this and minimum wage too?! How can I contain myself? YEAH if you take any of that seriously then you need help. It was the last place that I wanted to work but it seems the only damn place that I will find work. OK so maybe not the only place but really who wants to see me in a pasty? Besides I don’t do poles so well anymore. Ha Ha!
No really it is just that any others jobs that I find that I might be able to do are both far away from my home and here. In the end I just don’t know if it is worth it to chuck everything I have just for a few bucks. Yes I know I have bills to pay and damnit I intend to pay them, but why cannot I also have a real job that helps me build a future as well? Is that some unwritten law? Ah what does it matter. I will do what has to be done and that is that. Hey what is the worst that can happen? Oh yeah that whole losing myself in the damn job thing…but the bills get paid so that is what is important…RIGHT.
Enough of that let me get down to the epiphanies that I spoke of earlier.
Ok so this week I have been watching far more TV that I usually do. Wow now I know why I don’t watch it much anymore. It just shows me how far we have really fallen. Ok for starters let me address the most worthless shows to embarres the little screen.
REALITY TV SHOWS.
I have never liked them nor will I ever like them. They are a farce of Shakespearean proportions and only show off the worst that our society has to offer. The leading craptacular example of this is one of the first, Survivor. First off this show is a fraud. These people are in no real danger, cause right there is a fully operating film crew that sure as hell is not eating grubs…not that the contestants are eating grubs either. I am also sure that there is no lack of water or medical facilities on site either. So in the end what danger does our interped band of “Survivors” surviving? Oh right a set of physical challenges and getting voted off…PLEASE! What a load of crap-olla.
Well if I didn’t like the show now, I sure as hell think it has sunk to a new low. This season (which is already in the can in case you didn’t realize how TV works) will center around separating teams based on , get this….RACIAL LINES. Oh yeah what a brilliant idea this is. Oh I am sure that the producers loved the pitch which I can only see going something like this…”Well see we have all contestants there and for a social experiment we will have them take teams with people just like them, you know color and all that. It will be great cause we can increase viewer-ship among the racial motivated segment of society as well as the lagging Asian market not to mention the growing Mexican population. Isn’t it great? Oh what was that? No of course we shouldn’t worry about it stirring up racial tension in America. What are you thinking it is just TV. We don’t have that kind of power. We can’t start a war in our own streets over something as harmless as a TV show. Besides if it does cause riots just think of the publicity and viewer-ship from all the news coverage. What a bonus.”
Yes sir this is going to be so much fun. I just cannot wait for the first time at a water cooler someone make the mistake of saying anything derogatory about one of the winning personalities of a different racial background then the speaker. Even if the contestant in question is a jerk it won’t matter cause some over sensitized individual will jump up and scream “Racist”. The rest will be unemployment history.
This country is far too sensitive over that subject and the so-called leaders that speak “Tolerance” truly only seek to continue the trend. I mean let’s face it with out it would they be leaders anymore? More importantly wouldn’t they then have to turn to real problems and try and deal with them? Of course they would so no they are not going to get rid of their ace in the hole. Now when a real problem rears its ugly head they just jump up and scream “Racism” from the mountain tops and the masses jump with them and chant right along. Not to mention the contributions and fundraisers that go along with it. Enough with this rant and on to the next.
So the highly educated and certainly well paid astrological community got together this week and spent their collective brain power on a subject that will truly reshape the future of us all. They made a decision that has solved a problem that has plagued each and every one of us in our day to day lives.
The decided that Pluto is not a planet……….
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE IDIOTS! I mean are they that bored that they feel the need to pursue a serious discussion about whether a large hunk of rock that obits our sun and is not bound to another heavenly body is a planet or not? I thought that these people were working on figuring out how to transverse the vast distances between our world and others so we could colonize the galaxy. Nope they are sitting around having this discussion.
“Hey Bob what you doing?”
“Nothing Joe. Just watching the sky. You?”
“Same thing.”
“Yup this whole astronomy carrier is really full of excitement.”
“Yeah Joe I am sooo glad for all that time spent getting all these degrees so I could sit and watch the sky all day”
“OH and don’t forget that bull about how star gazers get the girls.”
“Yeah what a load of crap. I haven’t been laid since……DAMN I’VE NEVER BEEN LAID!!!!!”
“Dude I just had a though. We could figure out a way to travel through the galaxy and colonize every planet we find? Sounds cool right?”
“Wait I just had an idea. Why don’t we just sit here and do a whole lot of research to formulate an argument that Pluto is not really a planet? It would be fun.”
“Well I don’t know?”
“Oh come on Joe just think of all fun when we succeed and they have to change all the text book around the WORLD! I mean it isn’t like we won’t be making up most of the reasons cause any first grader knows that Pluto is a planet, so we will be pulling one over on the whole world. Oh and here is the kicker. In about 10 years of so…We turn around and make them change it back! Besides we will have to make like lecture tours and you know what that means…Young coed astronomy students.”
“OH God Bob that would be far more fun then anything really helpful to everyday life. And I can’t wait to start the lecture tour… come to me ladies. Let’s do it!”
Yes there it is. Just a prank set up by some over bored and under sexed astronomers. Please for the love of god will you ladies do the world a favor and shag an astronomer today so we can get the whole colonization of the galaxy thing underway? PLEASE!
So this is what our leaders in the field of Astronomy do with their time. I am so glad that we depend on them to let us know what is out there. I wouldn’t want to take their hours of looking at the sky as a sign of lax intelligence or sloth. But with breakthroughs like this how could I think that? God help us.
Ok well I am done for now. I will be home either Sunday or Monday of next week. The following weekend I am going to the Ren fair again so if anyone wants to join just grab your cash and come along…well let me know ahead of time as well.
I will see everyone or talk to everyone when I get back.
Again I am sorry for missing Fading Suns and for not calling. Please forgive me. PPPPLLLLEEEASEE!!!!!
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well as the title says this post is about two different things. The epiphanies will come later for now it is time to apologize for something.
Ben, Val, Mel, Todd, Tadd, Kelsey and whom ever else is in Fading Suns I apologize for not being there last night. I also apologize for not calling anyone concerning my absence. It has been an difficult time up here, wrestling with issues that pertain to the future and the present. In all honesty even if I had come home I don’t know that I would have played simply because I have a lot to think about.
Firstly the post office has not called or written me. It is obvious that I am not getting hired. I don’t understand why this is but the truth is simply that it is. So when I get back in town I will swallow my pride and my hopes and apply at the retail hives of scum and villainy again. It will be just awesome to be working in retail again for a large company and in doing so be nothing more then a drone. OH JOY! All this and minimum wage too?! How can I contain myself? YEAH if you take any of that seriously then you need help. It was the last place that I wanted to work but it seems the only damn place that I will find work. OK so maybe not the only place but really who wants to see me in a pasty? Besides I don’t do poles so well anymore. Ha Ha!
No really it is just that any others jobs that I find that I might be able to do are both far away from my home and here. In the end I just don’t know if it is worth it to chuck everything I have just for a few bucks. Yes I know I have bills to pay and damnit I intend to pay them, but why cannot I also have a real job that helps me build a future as well? Is that some unwritten law? Ah what does it matter. I will do what has to be done and that is that. Hey what is the worst that can happen? Oh yeah that whole losing myself in the damn job thing…but the bills get paid so that is what is important…RIGHT.
Enough of that let me get down to the epiphanies that I spoke of earlier.
Ok so this week I have been watching far more TV that I usually do. Wow now I know why I don’t watch it much anymore. It just shows me how far we have really fallen. Ok for starters let me address the most worthless shows to embarres the little screen.
REALITY TV SHOWS.
I have never liked them nor will I ever like them. They are a farce of Shakespearean proportions and only show off the worst that our society has to offer. The leading craptacular example of this is one of the first, Survivor. First off this show is a fraud. These people are in no real danger, cause right there is a fully operating film crew that sure as hell is not eating grubs…not that the contestants are eating grubs either. I am also sure that there is no lack of water or medical facilities on site either. So in the end what danger does our interped band of “Survivors” surviving? Oh right a set of physical challenges and getting voted off…PLEASE! What a load of crap-olla.
Well if I didn’t like the show now, I sure as hell think it has sunk to a new low. This season (which is already in the can in case you didn’t realize how TV works) will center around separating teams based on , get this….RACIAL LINES. Oh yeah what a brilliant idea this is. Oh I am sure that the producers loved the pitch which I can only see going something like this…”Well see we have all contestants there and for a social experiment we will have them take teams with people just like them, you know color and all that. It will be great cause we can increase viewer-ship among the racial motivated segment of society as well as the lagging Asian market not to mention the growing Mexican population. Isn’t it great? Oh what was that? No of course we shouldn’t worry about it stirring up racial tension in America. What are you thinking it is just TV. We don’t have that kind of power. We can’t start a war in our own streets over something as harmless as a TV show. Besides if it does cause riots just think of the publicity and viewer-ship from all the news coverage. What a bonus.”
Yes sir this is going to be so much fun. I just cannot wait for the first time at a water cooler someone make the mistake of saying anything derogatory about one of the winning personalities of a different racial background then the speaker. Even if the contestant in question is a jerk it won’t matter cause some over sensitized individual will jump up and scream “Racist”. The rest will be unemployment history.
This country is far too sensitive over that subject and the so-called leaders that speak “Tolerance” truly only seek to continue the trend. I mean let’s face it with out it would they be leaders anymore? More importantly wouldn’t they then have to turn to real problems and try and deal with them? Of course they would so no they are not going to get rid of their ace in the hole. Now when a real problem rears its ugly head they just jump up and scream “Racism” from the mountain tops and the masses jump with them and chant right along. Not to mention the contributions and fundraisers that go along with it. Enough with this rant and on to the next.
So the highly educated and certainly well paid astrological community got together this week and spent their collective brain power on a subject that will truly reshape the future of us all. They made a decision that has solved a problem that has plagued each and every one of us in our day to day lives.
The decided that Pluto is not a planet……….
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE IDIOTS! I mean are they that bored that they feel the need to pursue a serious discussion about whether a large hunk of rock that obits our sun and is not bound to another heavenly body is a planet or not? I thought that these people were working on figuring out how to transverse the vast distances between our world and others so we could colonize the galaxy. Nope they are sitting around having this discussion.
“Hey Bob what you doing?”
“Nothing Joe. Just watching the sky. You?”
“Same thing.”
“Yup this whole astronomy carrier is really full of excitement.”
“Yeah Joe I am sooo glad for all that time spent getting all these degrees so I could sit and watch the sky all day”
“OH and don’t forget that bull about how star gazers get the girls.”
“Yeah what a load of crap. I haven’t been laid since……DAMN I’VE NEVER BEEN LAID!!!!!”
“Dude I just had a though. We could figure out a way to travel through the galaxy and colonize every planet we find? Sounds cool right?”
“Wait I just had an idea. Why don’t we just sit here and do a whole lot of research to formulate an argument that Pluto is not really a planet? It would be fun.”
“Well I don’t know?”
“Oh come on Joe just think of all fun when we succeed and they have to change all the text book around the WORLD! I mean it isn’t like we won’t be making up most of the reasons cause any first grader knows that Pluto is a planet, so we will be pulling one over on the whole world. Oh and here is the kicker. In about 10 years of so…We turn around and make them change it back! Besides we will have to make like lecture tours and you know what that means…Young coed astronomy students.”
“OH God Bob that would be far more fun then anything really helpful to everyday life. And I can’t wait to start the lecture tour… come to me ladies. Let’s do it!”
Yes there it is. Just a prank set up by some over bored and under sexed astronomers. Please for the love of god will you ladies do the world a favor and shag an astronomer today so we can get the whole colonization of the galaxy thing underway? PLEASE!
So this is what our leaders in the field of Astronomy do with their time. I am so glad that we depend on them to let us know what is out there. I wouldn’t want to take their hours of looking at the sky as a sign of lax intelligence or sloth. But with breakthroughs like this how could I think that? God help us.
Ok well I am done for now. I will be home either Sunday or Monday of next week. The following weekend I am going to the Ren fair again so if anyone wants to join just grab your cash and come along…well let me know ahead of time as well.
I will see everyone or talk to everyone when I get back.
Again I am sorry for missing Fading Suns and for not calling. Please forgive me. PPPPLLLLEEEASEE!!!!!
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Matt-Man Out To Lake Villa
Hail and well met
I am leaving today for an extended stay with my lady up in Lake Villa. The reasons for this are simple. One is the fact that I cannot stand sitting here waiting for the damn Post Office to get off its fat bloated ass to hire me. It is driving me crazy that they hire all these lazy and unmotivated workers every damn day but a guy like me that wants to work and put in his hours the leave hanging. Screw them. If they call I will show up but until then I am going to check out my options else where and enjoy the company of my beautiful and sexy lady while I am at it.
The second reason is...Complicated. I love my parents, I really do. I JUST CANNOT STAND LIVING WITH THEM ANY LONGER! If I have to endure one more dumb ass argument over something stupid I will scream. Oh believe me that when I have to listen to the play back later it was over some big and vague point that is pivotal to the balance of the universe. Oh come on people, it was about the dishes, laundry or something else mundane. Truly it is like watching my parents devolve into 5 year olds again. I just cannot deal with it, nor can I deal with their need to tell me about it 8 hours later as if I wasn't there, which I was. I love them dearly but enough is enough.
OH before I forget. Ben K. this message is for you unless I get to see you first. Terri told me that her company Anixter is looking for some computer people. She printed out the job sheets and you can find them at Anixter.com, I believe it is under personal, but don't quote me. I am sure you can find it. It sounds like it is up your ally and although her office is an hour away you could be out of the Alsip office which is much closer. Take a look and God willing there will be something for you.
So I am out for at least the weekend and possibly most of next week. If anyone sees Neal or if you read this I have not forgotten about Monday I will call you and we will discuss that matter.
Ok well I am out of here for now. Kind of torn over not being around. Have to discuss it with people and figure out what can be done about it. Things are just...Strange.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
I am leaving today for an extended stay with my lady up in Lake Villa. The reasons for this are simple. One is the fact that I cannot stand sitting here waiting for the damn Post Office to get off its fat bloated ass to hire me. It is driving me crazy that they hire all these lazy and unmotivated workers every damn day but a guy like me that wants to work and put in his hours the leave hanging. Screw them. If they call I will show up but until then I am going to check out my options else where and enjoy the company of my beautiful and sexy lady while I am at it.
The second reason is...Complicated. I love my parents, I really do. I JUST CANNOT STAND LIVING WITH THEM ANY LONGER! If I have to endure one more dumb ass argument over something stupid I will scream. Oh believe me that when I have to listen to the play back later it was over some big and vague point that is pivotal to the balance of the universe. Oh come on people, it was about the dishes, laundry or something else mundane. Truly it is like watching my parents devolve into 5 year olds again. I just cannot deal with it, nor can I deal with their need to tell me about it 8 hours later as if I wasn't there, which I was. I love them dearly but enough is enough.
OH before I forget. Ben K. this message is for you unless I get to see you first. Terri told me that her company Anixter is looking for some computer people. She printed out the job sheets and you can find them at Anixter.com, I believe it is under personal, but don't quote me. I am sure you can find it. It sounds like it is up your ally and although her office is an hour away you could be out of the Alsip office which is much closer. Take a look and God willing there will be something for you.
So I am out for at least the weekend and possibly most of next week. If anyone sees Neal or if you read this I have not forgotten about Monday I will call you and we will discuss that matter.
Ok well I am out of here for now. Kind of torn over not being around. Have to discuss it with people and figure out what can be done about it. Things are just...Strange.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Matt-Man Says Good-bye to Summer
Hail and well met
As I sit here in the loft I am faced with the reality that once again it is time for people to head off to collage. It is the heralding of the end of yet another summer. A year ago I was quite depressed over this and to be true it is a bummer to know that in less then two weeks many of the people that I love to hang out with will be miles away. There is something decidedly different this time though. I am glad to see them move on.
For quite a long time I was content with the idea of change for everyone else but not me. It was a stupid idea and I know that it has truly been the cause of a great amount of the pain in my life. I have to really honest when I say that I was a hypocrite over it. Out of my mouth would come the axiom that "Change is the only constant in the universe" but then I would resist the most simple of changes in my life. I never left home because I didn't want to rock the boat. Oh I know that I can come up with a ton of excuses for not leaving but so many others have had the some troubles and yet they did it and made it work. No the problem was not the troubles in the way but it was me.
Now this is where I should insert any one of a thousand rants about how hopeless or pathetic or whatever I am. Well if that is what you are expecting then I apologize because that is not happening. Why? Well the most basic thing I can say is that it is useless. I am who I am and I face the world the same way every day that I have always had. Somewhere out there is the niche where I belong and I intend to find it. Oh yes I am going to find the place where I belong and where I fit in and make things work. There is no doubt. It may take time but so what, what else am I going to do with it?
So instead of sitting here being depressed I am rejoicing in the fact that my friends are moving on and finding their place in the universe. I can and will visit them, and if possible I will be joined by the most amazing woman in the world. Yes I speak of the awesome and phenomenal Terri.
I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I have to say that she has been one of the greatest factors in my recent change of heart. Of course for all that she is if I didn't turn from my depression then I would still be a funk dog and be bringing everyone down. What is the fun in that? Oh it is one hell of an ego trip. believe me. Making ones self the center of the universe where all the bad things going on are pointed at or caused by you is quite the power trip. But once I realized that "Hey shit happens" and it happens to everyone it seemed far too pretentious for me to remain the center of the universe. So here I am just one more average joe (although some disagree with that assessment wink wink Terri) and I am just as unique and special as everyone else.
So what was this all about? Well I just wanted to chronicle the evening...Although I am upset about one thing. I missed a message from my lady. Sorry Terri. I was in the pool and I never bring my phone there because I know it will end up jumping to its death. Stupid suicidal phones. I am truly upset that I missed you call, but I will call you tomorrow as soon as I wake up. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes...ok by sometimes I mean all the time and bye hurt I mean tears my heart out but other then that I am fine ;)
I love all of you but Terri has my heart and soul...and other things but those will remain unmentioned for obvious reasons. :P I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!
Ok well that is all I really had to say so I am going to sign off.
May the Force be with all of you
Excelsior!!!
As I sit here in the loft I am faced with the reality that once again it is time for people to head off to collage. It is the heralding of the end of yet another summer. A year ago I was quite depressed over this and to be true it is a bummer to know that in less then two weeks many of the people that I love to hang out with will be miles away. There is something decidedly different this time though. I am glad to see them move on.
For quite a long time I was content with the idea of change for everyone else but not me. It was a stupid idea and I know that it has truly been the cause of a great amount of the pain in my life. I have to really honest when I say that I was a hypocrite over it. Out of my mouth would come the axiom that "Change is the only constant in the universe" but then I would resist the most simple of changes in my life. I never left home because I didn't want to rock the boat. Oh I know that I can come up with a ton of excuses for not leaving but so many others have had the some troubles and yet they did it and made it work. No the problem was not the troubles in the way but it was me.
Now this is where I should insert any one of a thousand rants about how hopeless or pathetic or whatever I am. Well if that is what you are expecting then I apologize because that is not happening. Why? Well the most basic thing I can say is that it is useless. I am who I am and I face the world the same way every day that I have always had. Somewhere out there is the niche where I belong and I intend to find it. Oh yes I am going to find the place where I belong and where I fit in and make things work. There is no doubt. It may take time but so what, what else am I going to do with it?
So instead of sitting here being depressed I am rejoicing in the fact that my friends are moving on and finding their place in the universe. I can and will visit them, and if possible I will be joined by the most amazing woman in the world. Yes I speak of the awesome and phenomenal Terri.
I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I have to say that she has been one of the greatest factors in my recent change of heart. Of course for all that she is if I didn't turn from my depression then I would still be a funk dog and be bringing everyone down. What is the fun in that? Oh it is one hell of an ego trip. believe me. Making ones self the center of the universe where all the bad things going on are pointed at or caused by you is quite the power trip. But once I realized that "Hey shit happens" and it happens to everyone it seemed far too pretentious for me to remain the center of the universe. So here I am just one more average joe (although some disagree with that assessment wink wink Terri) and I am just as unique and special as everyone else.
So what was this all about? Well I just wanted to chronicle the evening...Although I am upset about one thing. I missed a message from my lady. Sorry Terri. I was in the pool and I never bring my phone there because I know it will end up jumping to its death. Stupid suicidal phones. I am truly upset that I missed you call, but I will call you tomorrow as soon as I wake up. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes...ok by sometimes I mean all the time and bye hurt I mean tears my heart out but other then that I am fine ;)
I love all of you but Terri has my heart and soul...and other things but those will remain unmentioned for obvious reasons. :P I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!
Ok well that is all I really had to say so I am going to sign off.
May the Force be with all of you
Excelsior!!!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
He's Back! He's Bad! He's Matt-Man and he is Mad!
Hail and well met one and all
The title says it all. I am back from a great weekend. Yes I spent some money but that really has little to nothing to do with my feelings. I went and surrounded myself with the people and minds of the industry that I love. I absorbed those emotions and soaked in the ambiance of the experiance. Just being around all those crazy gamers and the ones that make those crazy games just fills me with a giddy sense of power. OH YEAH!
All in all the experiance was rejuvinating. Now to be totally honest I have to say that there was a bit of a let down in the weekend. All in all there was not nearly the number of new games or companies that I would have expected or wanted. I know that the industry is suffering along with the rest of the economy with the tighting of the belt due to cost increases but still I cannot believe that there is a lull in the creative genius that is out there. Anyway all it really did for me was open the flood gates of determination that my ideas are worth and will be successful. All I have to do is get off my lorals and get them out there.
So let it be known that from this moment until the end of my time here on this rock I intend to devote a sizeable amount of my time to getting these ideas made into a viable reality that I can produce and sell. It may take a year or two but it will be done. This may incroach on my free time esspecially if I get the job but not that much. I will be looking for playtesters outside our group mostly to ensure that my personality is not affecting the view everyone has of the games that I make or have made. Not that I am saying that you all would lie to me but in truth you views are skewed by our relationships. I know every word you have spoken about Camp Deadbidon is true and you meant it but I need to be sure that I have not just glossed over any problems to fix them in just your eyes and failed to address any real holes in the game.
That being said don't think that I won't be showing you every new idea when it hits the prototype stage and involve you.
Ok well I think that about covers it. I am out for now. Typing acutally hurts my eyes.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
The title says it all. I am back from a great weekend. Yes I spent some money but that really has little to nothing to do with my feelings. I went and surrounded myself with the people and minds of the industry that I love. I absorbed those emotions and soaked in the ambiance of the experiance. Just being around all those crazy gamers and the ones that make those crazy games just fills me with a giddy sense of power. OH YEAH!
All in all the experiance was rejuvinating. Now to be totally honest I have to say that there was a bit of a let down in the weekend. All in all there was not nearly the number of new games or companies that I would have expected or wanted. I know that the industry is suffering along with the rest of the economy with the tighting of the belt due to cost increases but still I cannot believe that there is a lull in the creative genius that is out there. Anyway all it really did for me was open the flood gates of determination that my ideas are worth and will be successful. All I have to do is get off my lorals and get them out there.
So let it be known that from this moment until the end of my time here on this rock I intend to devote a sizeable amount of my time to getting these ideas made into a viable reality that I can produce and sell. It may take a year or two but it will be done. This may incroach on my free time esspecially if I get the job but not that much. I will be looking for playtesters outside our group mostly to ensure that my personality is not affecting the view everyone has of the games that I make or have made. Not that I am saying that you all would lie to me but in truth you views are skewed by our relationships. I know every word you have spoken about Camp Deadbidon is true and you meant it but I need to be sure that I have not just glossed over any problems to fix them in just your eyes and failed to address any real holes in the game.
That being said don't think that I won't be showing you every new idea when it hits the prototype stage and involve you.
Ok well I think that about covers it. I am out for now. Typing acutally hurts my eyes.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Matt-Man takes a Break
Hail and well met
Yeah I said it. I am taking a break. Oh not from a heavy work load or stressfull deadlines, no but a break from being wound up tighter then a 3000 day clock. Worring about not having found gainful employment. Wondering if my P's are pissed that I am still at home. If my Dad is ready to blow his top over the cash I owe him. Sweating those damn creditors deciding to try and sue me or some other stupid move. Trying to not step on anyones toes whle trying to be myself and not being employed.
I have had it will all that crap!
I am going down to Gen Con with the help of my friends. I am going to be totally irresponsible (or as much as I can be) I am not going to worry about one damn thing ( ok well it is me but it will just be about no being with my lady...OK?) whilst I am away. I am going to throw money away like it was water (luckly I only have a small amount this year, but next year watch out).
I intend to party every chance I get and have as much fun as I can. I ain't coming home the same as I left so be ready. This is the last hoorah befor I totally shatter the ceiling and start soaring like the legendary beast that is Matt-Man.
Yeah I am tooting my own horn. Yeah I am spitting out a load of self endulgent ego boosting drivel. SO WHAT? Everyone else gets to do it...then so do I!
Beware forces of complacancy and the mundane. The unmasked avenger of the imagination is priming his guns and is going to BLOW YOU ALL AWAY!!!!!!!
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Yeah I said it. I am taking a break. Oh not from a heavy work load or stressfull deadlines, no but a break from being wound up tighter then a 3000 day clock. Worring about not having found gainful employment. Wondering if my P's are pissed that I am still at home. If my Dad is ready to blow his top over the cash I owe him. Sweating those damn creditors deciding to try and sue me or some other stupid move. Trying to not step on anyones toes whle trying to be myself and not being employed.
I have had it will all that crap!
I am going down to Gen Con with the help of my friends. I am going to be totally irresponsible (or as much as I can be) I am not going to worry about one damn thing ( ok well it is me but it will just be about no being with my lady...OK?) whilst I am away. I am going to throw money away like it was water (luckly I only have a small amount this year, but next year watch out).
I intend to party every chance I get and have as much fun as I can. I ain't coming home the same as I left so be ready. This is the last hoorah befor I totally shatter the ceiling and start soaring like the legendary beast that is Matt-Man.
Yeah I am tooting my own horn. Yeah I am spitting out a load of self endulgent ego boosting drivel. SO WHAT? Everyone else gets to do it...then so do I!
Beware forces of complacancy and the mundane. The unmasked avenger of the imagination is priming his guns and is going to BLOW YOU ALL AWAY!!!!!!!
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Matt-Man rides the Weird Train
Hail and well met
Well to say that things have been strange is an understatement. I got home yesterday and said my good bye to my lady for a couple of weeks, which SUCKED. I really liked being with her for the week...sigh. When I arrived I had two letters from the post office waiting for me. They weren't the paycheck that I am waiting for but instead where paper work for me to show up at the Crete post office for an interview for the RAC position that I have been seeking. That was great news, except for the fact that the appointment in this coming Friday...DAMNIT THAT IS GENCON! So I am now faced with a dilemma of epic proportions.
Do I simply not go to gen con or try and figure out a way to do both. I am leaning towards the both but there are complications.
The biggest one is what happened this morning when I drove my car to do some errands. My brake pedal went to the floor and I had to feather it to get any pressure. I am going to call my mechanic tomorrow morning and get my car in toot sweet since I will need it this Friday for the interview. If it cost any amount of cash to fix I can kiss Gen Con good bye since I was planning on driving down after the interview. That will cost me gas money and if the car costs me anything I will have to burn my collateral with my P's to get it fixed. This means I cannot use them for cash for gas. GRRRRRRR!
I am hoping that it is easy..No I am believing that it is going to be easy and cost next to nothing. Time will tell.
Of course money is the other problem but when isn't it.
So I have the good news that I am closer to having a real job. Once I am past the training for being a carrier the Post Master at Mattson can steal me, since I really don't want the nightmare that is the Crete post office to be my long term future.
I have the most wonderful woman the world can offer. I LOVE YOU TERRI!
I just may have to give up the best four days with my friends out of the year.
Oh well some sacrifices must be made if things are going to change.
And I want change!
OH I am posting from my lap top which appears to be internet fluent. My computer is still in limbo. Terri gave me her old computer and said that I can use what ever I want to see if I can fix it. Ben since I won't be out there any time soon if you read this before I see you I am working on getting that copy of windows and see if that computer has a viable hard drive in it. I really appreciate all the things that you are doing for me, I know that things are tough for you and have been for a long time. I am praying that you get a break soon, cause you deserve it. Hang in there cause if it can work for me then it certainly work for you.
Ok well I don't want to tax my lap top any more then needed, but wanted to let everyone know what was going on.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well to say that things have been strange is an understatement. I got home yesterday and said my good bye to my lady for a couple of weeks, which SUCKED. I really liked being with her for the week...sigh. When I arrived I had two letters from the post office waiting for me. They weren't the paycheck that I am waiting for but instead where paper work for me to show up at the Crete post office for an interview for the RAC position that I have been seeking. That was great news, except for the fact that the appointment in this coming Friday...DAMNIT THAT IS GENCON! So I am now faced with a dilemma of epic proportions.
Do I simply not go to gen con or try and figure out a way to do both. I am leaning towards the both but there are complications.
The biggest one is what happened this morning when I drove my car to do some errands. My brake pedal went to the floor and I had to feather it to get any pressure. I am going to call my mechanic tomorrow morning and get my car in toot sweet since I will need it this Friday for the interview. If it cost any amount of cash to fix I can kiss Gen Con good bye since I was planning on driving down after the interview. That will cost me gas money and if the car costs me anything I will have to burn my collateral with my P's to get it fixed. This means I cannot use them for cash for gas. GRRRRRRR!
I am hoping that it is easy..No I am believing that it is going to be easy and cost next to nothing. Time will tell.
Of course money is the other problem but when isn't it.
So I have the good news that I am closer to having a real job. Once I am past the training for being a carrier the Post Master at Mattson can steal me, since I really don't want the nightmare that is the Crete post office to be my long term future.
I have the most wonderful woman the world can offer. I LOVE YOU TERRI!
I just may have to give up the best four days with my friends out of the year.
Oh well some sacrifices must be made if things are going to change.
And I want change!
OH I am posting from my lap top which appears to be internet fluent. My computer is still in limbo. Terri gave me her old computer and said that I can use what ever I want to see if I can fix it. Ben since I won't be out there any time soon if you read this before I see you I am working on getting that copy of windows and see if that computer has a viable hard drive in it. I really appreciate all the things that you are doing for me, I know that things are tough for you and have been for a long time. I am praying that you get a break soon, cause you deserve it. Hang in there cause if it can work for me then it certainly work for you.
Ok well I don't want to tax my lap top any more then needed, but wanted to let everyone know what was going on.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Matt-Man in the Shite Storm
I would say Hail and well met...but not today
Things have decided to jump on me all at once. I am not in a mood for typing but I do feel the need to tell people what is going on. So in a nutshell...
Terri's dog Jackson bit her again yesterday, a totally unprovoked attack. There was little choice but to put Jackson down. NOT A GOOD DAY!
Ben has informed me that the Matt-comp 5000 has a bad hard drive and it will run close to 100 dollars (not counting rebates) to fix. Ben since you seem to read this and since I will not be home anytime soon as I am keeping Terri sane I will ask you here and feel free to answer. I assume the answer is yes but here goes nothing. Is all the info on the HD gone?
There are some other things but those are kind of personal and private, not for sharing here. All in all let me just say that if anything else wants to kick me in the nads...Feel free! If anything out there thinks that I am giving up or going to get totally self focused and depressed......
HA! NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Yes things suck and I am in a pit of sorrow and pain right now. Yes I have never really felt worse in my life. Hell I just watched my bestest buddy of a dog be put down, can it get any worse then that? But I am not giving up.
Things change in time. Nothing stays the same. For everything there is a season. I waited for 36 years to find the one person that I could truly love and who loved me back. And guess what...I found her! So if that can happen then anything else can happen as well. It is just a matter of time and being patient whilst everything falls into place.
Ben I don't have the cash right now, I might soon. When I do we are going to go shopping for the HD. I also want to look into somekind of back up since there were a large number of really important files on there pertaining to projects for games and the like. I can't have this happen again.
I won't be back in town untill probably this weekend. I believe Terri is still coming down Saturday and as such I may just stay and come home with her. I know that this fouls up Fading Suns, unless you can play without me Ben at least for one session. It also crimps Star Wars, sorry but I have to be here for her right now.
So all in all I am out of the loop. My cel still works so if you call I can call back on her house phone. As long as I am here I have acess to her computer and can answer emails and comments on here. I will see all on Saturday if not sooner.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Things have decided to jump on me all at once. I am not in a mood for typing but I do feel the need to tell people what is going on. So in a nutshell...
Terri's dog Jackson bit her again yesterday, a totally unprovoked attack. There was little choice but to put Jackson down. NOT A GOOD DAY!
Ben has informed me that the Matt-comp 5000 has a bad hard drive and it will run close to 100 dollars (not counting rebates) to fix. Ben since you seem to read this and since I will not be home anytime soon as I am keeping Terri sane I will ask you here and feel free to answer. I assume the answer is yes but here goes nothing. Is all the info on the HD gone?
There are some other things but those are kind of personal and private, not for sharing here. All in all let me just say that if anything else wants to kick me in the nads...Feel free! If anything out there thinks that I am giving up or going to get totally self focused and depressed......
HA! NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Yes things suck and I am in a pit of sorrow and pain right now. Yes I have never really felt worse in my life. Hell I just watched my bestest buddy of a dog be put down, can it get any worse then that? But I am not giving up.
Things change in time. Nothing stays the same. For everything there is a season. I waited for 36 years to find the one person that I could truly love and who loved me back. And guess what...I found her! So if that can happen then anything else can happen as well. It is just a matter of time and being patient whilst everything falls into place.
Ben I don't have the cash right now, I might soon. When I do we are going to go shopping for the HD. I also want to look into somekind of back up since there were a large number of really important files on there pertaining to projects for games and the like. I can't have this happen again.
I won't be back in town untill probably this weekend. I believe Terri is still coming down Saturday and as such I may just stay and come home with her. I know that this fouls up Fading Suns, unless you can play without me Ben at least for one session. It also crimps Star Wars, sorry but I have to be here for her right now.
So all in all I am out of the loop. My cel still works so if you call I can call back on her house phone. As long as I am here I have acess to her computer and can answer emails and comments on here. I will see all on Saturday if not sooner.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Matt-Man "There's trouble to the North"
Hail and well met
Well here I sit in the Casa De Terri and I don't know what I am going to post about.
I love her.
She loves me.
We get eachother on so many levels.
I know that things are good and am not going to screw that up.......
But this being unemployeed situation is wearing on my nerves. I don't want to lose her because I in the end I don't live up to the things I know I can do. If that even makes any sense.
I am also just worried that I lack the real foundation to make a relationship work. I mean look at my paterning (My family life for those that don't know what I was saying). My parents barely tolerate each other. Fights over the most ignorant of things are a daily affair. Neither one of them really lives anymore, they just muddle through waiting on the end of their life. I don't want to be that...but I already am.
Yeah that is what I realized before I started posting. I am just like them. I don't do anything or involve myself with anything larger then myself. I keep everything at arms length and never commit myself to any goals. I have to change...and that is going to hurt.
Oh yes change is going to hurt, I don't fool myself on that fact. It is just a matter of choosing when I do it. Now or later. Sooner or farther away. Next week or next month, or next year.
There is no guide books on this subject. Not many have experiance to give advice. In the end all the advice and comments will come to naught cause it is my choice and I am the only one that can live it.
Jeez I hate it when it comes back to me.
Oh well all I have time to type right now.
I will be home tuesday durring the day depending on the arrival time for the train.
Later all.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well here I sit in the Casa De Terri and I don't know what I am going to post about.
I love her.
She loves me.
We get eachother on so many levels.
I know that things are good and am not going to screw that up.......
But this being unemployeed situation is wearing on my nerves. I don't want to lose her because I in the end I don't live up to the things I know I can do. If that even makes any sense.
I am also just worried that I lack the real foundation to make a relationship work. I mean look at my paterning (My family life for those that don't know what I was saying). My parents barely tolerate each other. Fights over the most ignorant of things are a daily affair. Neither one of them really lives anymore, they just muddle through waiting on the end of their life. I don't want to be that...but I already am.
Yeah that is what I realized before I started posting. I am just like them. I don't do anything or involve myself with anything larger then myself. I keep everything at arms length and never commit myself to any goals. I have to change...and that is going to hurt.
Oh yes change is going to hurt, I don't fool myself on that fact. It is just a matter of choosing when I do it. Now or later. Sooner or farther away. Next week or next month, or next year.
There is no guide books on this subject. Not many have experiance to give advice. In the end all the advice and comments will come to naught cause it is my choice and I am the only one that can live it.
Jeez I hate it when it comes back to me.
Oh well all I have time to type right now.
I will be home tuesday durring the day depending on the arrival time for the train.
Later all.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Matt-Man on the sly
Hail and well met
Not going to post much...which means of course that this will be a 10 pager. No not really cause there is not much to post (or too much)
I am doing well and the house I am watching is also ok. We have had a few tantrums but I was able to get it in line.
I have been watching Smallville...actually a good show when you see it all in a row. Yet again another show that I will have to keep up with, will it never end.
Having the usual bouts of doubts and run ins with Mr. Depression but that is to be expected.
Terri is coming down on the 5th of august for the day. That is a Saturday and I am leaving things open as to what we are doing. I am hoping to finish up her introductions with everyone.
Oh yeah and still don't know what is up with my computer, but then again I haven't really asked about it. Kind of don't want to hear the news if it is as bad as I feel it could be. Not really in the mood to have yet one more avenue of my freedom stripped from me and another barrier between me and the world put up. Oh well such is the nature of life. If it doesn't kill you it gives you some real neat scars to talk about and twitches can be quite entertaining.
Hope all is going well...not that anyone would tell me if it wasn't...but I still hope it is.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Not going to post much...which means of course that this will be a 10 pager. No not really cause there is not much to post (or too much)
I am doing well and the house I am watching is also ok. We have had a few tantrums but I was able to get it in line.
I have been watching Smallville...actually a good show when you see it all in a row. Yet again another show that I will have to keep up with, will it never end.
Having the usual bouts of doubts and run ins with Mr. Depression but that is to be expected.
Terri is coming down on the 5th of august for the day. That is a Saturday and I am leaving things open as to what we are doing. I am hoping to finish up her introductions with everyone.
Oh yeah and still don't know what is up with my computer, but then again I haven't really asked about it. Kind of don't want to hear the news if it is as bad as I feel it could be. Not really in the mood to have yet one more avenue of my freedom stripped from me and another barrier between me and the world put up. Oh well such is the nature of life. If it doesn't kill you it gives you some real neat scars to talk about and twitches can be quite entertaining.
Hope all is going well...not that anyone would tell me if it wasn't...but I still hope it is.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Matt-Man VS Technology
Hail and well met
Well it was bound to happen again. My computer is on the fritz and this time I have a real bad feeling that it is bad. I will have to get it verified by Ben, but that will have to wait for right now.
I am going to be up at Terri's for a few days keeping an eye on her dog Jackson. He is sick and she is worried that if something happens she won't be there to help him out. So I am stepping up to help relieve this stress. I will be able to get calls on my phone but not answer them as I only have like 3 minutes left before it shuts down. So feel free to call and if I can I will respond via other means.
Anyway I have to go and get ready and the like. Hope everyone is doing ok. I will see you all friday for star wars.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well it was bound to happen again. My computer is on the fritz and this time I have a real bad feeling that it is bad. I will have to get it verified by Ben, but that will have to wait for right now.
I am going to be up at Terri's for a few days keeping an eye on her dog Jackson. He is sick and she is worried that if something happens she won't be there to help him out. So I am stepping up to help relieve this stress. I will be able to get calls on my phone but not answer them as I only have like 3 minutes left before it shuts down. So feel free to call and if I can I will respond via other means.
Anyway I have to go and get ready and the like. Hope everyone is doing ok. I will see you all friday for star wars.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Matt-Man did not order waffles, Matt-Man ordered STEAK!!!!
Hail and well met
Well let me just get this off the burner fast and quick. I am not working at the Post Office. I have declined the position that was given to me. Why? You ask.
Well first and foremost it was not the position that I applied for in the first place. Second it was a hell position in which I would have been working between 2 and 14 hours a night at the discretion of my supervisor and that could change on a daily basis. Thirdly it is completely a temp position and has not one single opportunity for career advancement. Lastly by declining the position I maintain my status in the Post Office and if something else comes up my action has no bearing on my getting that job.
All in all I would be gaining not one damn thing other then a WHOLE lot of stress and with the gas usage I would have to work at least 25 or so hours to keep the van running. Not worth the effort.
I have some other opportunities and some of them do involve the Post Office(just not the factory). I will be pursuing these over the next few days. Yes I am disappointed but I sure as hell am not giving up or getting depressed. I started to but then the thought of my Lady came to me and BAM! All that dark depression just went away.
Everything happens for a reason and this is no exception. I will find work and it will be gainful and not cause me the kind of stress that I was under at GO in the final days.
The only real bad thing is that this pretty much kills any chance of my going to GenCon. Oh well it was a good run of not missing one but it had to end some time. I will miss it though. tear falls from eye
But there is always next year!
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well let me just get this off the burner fast and quick. I am not working at the Post Office. I have declined the position that was given to me. Why? You ask.
Well first and foremost it was not the position that I applied for in the first place. Second it was a hell position in which I would have been working between 2 and 14 hours a night at the discretion of my supervisor and that could change on a daily basis. Thirdly it is completely a temp position and has not one single opportunity for career advancement. Lastly by declining the position I maintain my status in the Post Office and if something else comes up my action has no bearing on my getting that job.
All in all I would be gaining not one damn thing other then a WHOLE lot of stress and with the gas usage I would have to work at least 25 or so hours to keep the van running. Not worth the effort.
I have some other opportunities and some of them do involve the Post Office(just not the factory). I will be pursuing these over the next few days. Yes I am disappointed but I sure as hell am not giving up or getting depressed. I started to but then the thought of my Lady came to me and BAM! All that dark depression just went away.
Everything happens for a reason and this is no exception. I will find work and it will be gainful and not cause me the kind of stress that I was under at GO in the final days.
The only real bad thing is that this pretty much kills any chance of my going to GenCon. Oh well it was a good run of not missing one but it had to end some time. I will miss it though. tear falls from eye
But there is always next year!
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Matt-Man Gets the Post
Hail and well met
IT FINALLY CAME!!!! Friday at around 5 or 6 I get a call telling me that a priority letter had arrived. With my permission it was opened and a single sheet of paper came out telling me that I am employed with the USPS! Woooooot!
I am to show up at 8:00 sharp on Monday at the Bedford Park facility for my three day orientation. I should find out then what is up and where I am to be posted. I am really hoping for the Frankfort Post Office, cause first off I would be able to get there far quicker then Bedford Park, and I would be able to pick up some days at the Mattson Post Office which means more money!
Any way I am stoked about this and I cannot wait to get back in the swing of things. Just sitting around has been just a bit nerve racking.
Ok well not much else to say except that everyone should remember that next weekend is the Ren Fair! We need to be at Terri's house around 9 in the morning that Sunday so that means leaving from here around no later then 7 and more like 6:30 so we have plenty of time to get there. Also remember that there is a BBQ after. It should be a blast.
Ok well that is all the time I have for today, I will speak to everyone as I see them.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
IT FINALLY CAME!!!! Friday at around 5 or 6 I get a call telling me that a priority letter had arrived. With my permission it was opened and a single sheet of paper came out telling me that I am employed with the USPS! Woooooot!
I am to show up at 8:00 sharp on Monday at the Bedford Park facility for my three day orientation. I should find out then what is up and where I am to be posted. I am really hoping for the Frankfort Post Office, cause first off I would be able to get there far quicker then Bedford Park, and I would be able to pick up some days at the Mattson Post Office which means more money!
Any way I am stoked about this and I cannot wait to get back in the swing of things. Just sitting around has been just a bit nerve racking.
Ok well not much else to say except that everyone should remember that next weekend is the Ren Fair! We need to be at Terri's house around 9 in the morning that Sunday so that means leaving from here around no later then 7 and more like 6:30 so we have plenty of time to get there. Also remember that there is a BBQ after. It should be a blast.
Ok well that is all the time I have for today, I will speak to everyone as I see them.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Matt-Man Takes the Train
Hail and well met
Well it is time for a real quick update.
I still have not heard from the Post Office. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
I am getting ready to head out and take the train to meet Terri at the station near her work for a couple of days with my lady. I am going to be cleaning her house a little in preperation for next weekends festivities. Woot for the Ren fair and the BBQ after.
Other then that I am doing well and things are going ok. Hope to see everyone on Saturday while Terri and myself are in town.
Ok well that is it. Wow a quick one that is really quick.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
Well it is time for a real quick update.
I still have not heard from the Post Office. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
I am getting ready to head out and take the train to meet Terri at the station near her work for a couple of days with my lady. I am going to be cleaning her house a little in preperation for next weekends festivities. Woot for the Ren fair and the BBQ after.
Other then that I am doing well and things are going ok. Hope to see everyone on Saturday while Terri and myself are in town.
Ok well that is it. Wow a quick one that is really quick.
May the Force be with you
Excelsior!!!
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